clean and sober

‘Whatever. Clearly it’s the police officer’s fault.’ I crawled out the sunroof knowing my parents would murder me.’: Woman finds sobriety after 11 years of alcoholism, now ‘the person drunk me desperately wanted to be’

“Stressful day? Wine, please! Getting married? Drinks on me! Someone died? Dang, let me buy you a beer. Relationship problems? Shots! Sunday Funday. Manic Monday. Tipsy Tuesday. Whiskey Wednesday. Thirsty Thursday. 16 years old was the first of my many nights sleeping in a bathroom, remembering nothing. It didn’t stop for 11 years.”

‘Get in the car,’ my mom forcefully tells me. My mind is racing. Turning me into jail? Where are we going? The drive feels like an eternity.’ She parks. ‘Do you see this place?,’ she chokes out.’

“I had an urge. I was terrified. I went to the only place I knew I was safe. She was asleep. I stood by her crib and stared at the greatest gift I had ever been given, my beautiful baby girl. As I looked at her, tears flooded out of me. That night, she saved my life.”

‘I wasn’t the stereotypical addict on the streets with no teeth, begging for money. I had children. I was functioning. I’d get up, eat, go to the gym. Then, I’d go on a bender for days.’

“I’d do whatever I could to distract myself from the fact that I felt alone. I always wanted to stop, but I didn’t know how. People around me knew, but never said anything. It made me feel like it was okay. I didn’t realize I needed to change until I lost my children. I decided if I couldn’t beat this and see my kids again, I’d kill myself.”

‘I will never have a baby because I can’t stay sober.’ I revealed my addiction to her. Her face lit up. Why did she want to pray for me when she was the one dying?’: Woman gives birth to ‘miracle’ baby she was told wouldn’t live

“I got married in the hospital chapel with our closest friends and family. Little CJ got to come out of the NICU to be the tiniest ring bearer in history. His nurses brought him in a little wagon with all his tubes and machines in his preemie tux.”

‘Our marriage was over. I found out things about him that left me devastated. I was raised in a home where divorce didn’t happen.’: Mom overcomes divorce and alcoholism with 2 years of sobriety

“I called a guy on the phone. He was like, ‘are you drunk?’ I said, ‘no,’ and my friends started laughing. Here I was, 24 years old, single mom of 2 boys and working 2 jobs. I was hurting and every chance I got I went to bars and drank more than I should have. I was in self-destruct mode.”

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