“My baby’s face was still hidden. I shot straight up, and that’s when I saw my baby girl for the first time. The world stopped. ‘Babe look…’ All I heard was silence. ‘Babe look,’ ‘babe look.’ My mom was screaming at my husband. His eyes were glazed over. ‘Everything’s okay, she’s perfect and she’ll be okay.’”
‘IT’S A GIRL!’ Suddenly I hear the words, ‘What about the cleft,’ and then deafening silence.’: Mother discovers shocking diagnosis after daughter’s birth
‘As I lay on the operating table, I heard the ONE word I dreaded. They wrapped him up, brought him over. I began to sob. ‘How can my heart be rejoicing and breaking at the same time?!’
“The room began spinning. I was thrilled to have my baby but terrified by the words used to describe him. Unlike his older brother’s birth, not one person came to see him. No flowers were delivered. No one knew what to say, so they said nothing. On that day, my life became defined by two words. Before and after.”
‘He wanted me to get a second opinion. ‘Is it a boy or a girl?,’ I frantically asked. ‘Are you sure you want to know?’ ‘Yes, please tell me.’ ‘A boy, it’s a boy.’ Things like this don’t happen to people my age.’
“When our oldest son saw him, fear set in. He was scared. He loved him dearly, but seeing my son afraid of his baby brother is something I’ll never forget.”
‘There is no rush. They may never get to do this again, holding their baby like this.’ As we admired him, there was a quiet heaviness. He looked different. My husband already knew.’
“Had we delivered at a hospital, he would have been taken from me immediately. My heart also aches in pain but I could not possibly foresee what was to come.”
‘There was something wrong with his face. ‘It’s not fair! I wasn’t supposed to have a baby like THIS.’ My husband kept telling me the doctor was wrong, but I knew otherwise.’ Mom a ‘blubbering mess’ after ultrasound reveals son’s cleft lip and palatte
“I walked to the parking lot, then to my car. As soon as the door closed, and no one was watching, the tears started to flow. How could there be anything wrong with my baby?! I couldn’t even picture it. It didn’t make sense. I felt like I let everyone down.”
‘He’s a sick guy.’ The pediatric cardiologist affirmed with an almost flippancy. Like, you know, yeah he’s dying, but like, he’s sick. Of course he’s dying. He’s a sick guy.’
“When my high school sweetheart and I decided to grow our family, we had no clue the battles we’d face. We’d had fairly smooth, straightforward lives up to this point. After my miscarriage of identical twins, I thought for sure we’d paid our dues.”
‘I can’t look like this anymore!’ I begged my parents for surgery. I’d arrive a new person and no one would have anything to say about my looks anymore. I was sure this was it.’
“I returned to school after going under the knife. ‘Are you thinking about a career in porn? You look like a porn star now,’ a boy said. I was shocked. I decided it was time to finally fight back.”
‘No, this can’t be real. Not this. It isn’t fair! Hasn’t she been through enough?’ But it was real. I heard the words no parent wants to hear.’
“How did I ever think motherhood would be easy, magical, dreamy? My mind started racing with questions. I let myself wallow in self-pity for about 24 hours, and then I decided I would not give in.”
‘My ‘friend’ said, ‘Come on, of all people, you should understand why someone would want to abort a cleft baby.”
“It was a shock. I didn’t know what I was looking at. There was clearly something wrong on his face, but I had never seen something like that before.”
‘When they handed him to me, I knew something was wrong. No matter what is happening with his chromosomes, the love these two have for each other is unmatched.’
“It was clear very quickly this wasn’t going to be another normal pregnancy. But I know with Cecilee by his side, Kai will be OK.”
