“When I got back nurses and doctors were running in his room, yelling ‘code blue!’ I wasn’t allowed in the room – they were intubating him. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. I was sobbing.”
‘I don’t know why your husband’s in pain, he has no meningitis.’ I’ll never forget when the nurse angrily said this to me when I told her my husband said his head feels like it’s on fire.’
‘Yes, I am a single, widow in her 40s. I know that can be tough to deal with. But frankly, I am tired of hearing, ‘I don’t think I can ever live up to him.’
“There’s something about ‘dating a widow’ that is so hard, and so intimidating for men. They struggle with the idea that a woman can develop feelings for somebody while still loving a man who has passed away.”
‘I was cleaning my wedding ring. I’m a ‘guys’ guy. My hands stay banged up and dirty. I work on cars, the yard, they get dirty. My ring bares the brunt.’
“Friends have asked why I take the time to clean it when it will get dirty and no one will notice a difference. ‘You’re the man, no one cares how pretty your ring is’. Here’s the thing. IT. DOES. MATTER. Why?”
‘His dad said loudly, ‘Oh hush, you were worse. You know? You would scream so loud, run up and down the tables, throw things. Your mother and I stopped going out because of you.’
One of the kids stood up on the chair and said a big ‘hello!’ The guy immediately looked down, and wouldn’t look up. The kid was trying to get his attention and say hi, but the guy looked at his partner and rolled his eye
‘At the top of my lungs I was screaming, ‘Please God, please don’t take him, I know you hear me, don’t take him!’ I looked down and saw his eyes rolling back in his head.’
“He was a Marine, tall, handsome, had every quality I dreamed of as a little girl in a husband. He was my ‘rock.’ Years went by, and we continued to drift apart emotionally. Then, our lives changed that day.”
‘You’re so damn tired you don’t want to be touched. When it came to sleep or sex, sleep always won.’
“Our first year as parents, we had sex maybe 5 times. I was neck deep in my postpartum depression and anxiety, which didn’t help.”
‘Marriage 3. I asked him why he treats me the way he does. He said, ‘Maybe because I like it and I thought you wouldn’t leave.”
“We got married. We adopted a baby girl, and a year after that, had a baby girl. Life was wonderful for 2 years. Then things changed.”
‘I play out the details of that final weekend in my head. Struck by how quickly it was all over. Just like that, she was gone. Gone forever.’
“It intensifies on November 8th. That is the day my soulmate came home for Veterans Day weekend. It was a Thursday evening, as it is this year. She kissed me goodbye, then my life was turned upside down.”
‘Marriage 2! This one only lasted 9 months. I was broke. He was not. He drove a nice car. He treated us to things. I’m not proud of this.’
“Then one night, he poured me a glass of wine. I took a sip and saw something in the bottom of my glass. No… It can’t be what I think it is. Can I keep drinking and pretend I don’t see it?”
‘There was a time I hair sprayed my hair and lipsticked my lips if I even THOUGHT I might run into this guy on the way to class.’
“And now here we are…bringing sexy back. This is what love actually looks like, friends.”
