“He spent over an hour with me. He would say, ‘Okay, now it’s your turn – show me,’ and then he would say things like, ‘Look at you! You’re doing a great job!’ I drove away thinking, ‘How cool would it be if he was my dad…?’”
‘This man rolled up in his truck.‘What’s going on with your car? Didn’t your dad ever teach you how to check your fluids?’ I responded, ‘No. I don’t have one of those.’
‘Do you remember your name?,’ one nurse asked. My mouth felt like I was chewing cotton balls. ‘What year is it?’I responded with a weak, soft voice as tears roll down my face.’
“‘Bye Mom! See you later!’ I gave her tight hug, and left on dad’s motorcycle. I was in heaven, having the best time of my life. I turned my head for half of a second, and saw a big bus approaching us. That is all I remember.”
‘An older man said to my sister, ‘Let me get a taste of that.’ He was sticking his tongue out and wiggling it. She instantly turned red. She was 12. He laughed and I did, too. I don’t know why, but I did.’
“This is what it REALLY means to be a man. It’s kissing my wife’s stomach and telling her she’s beautiful, even with her c-section scar and stretch marks. It’s telling my daughter ‘Honey, OWN that Jersey’ when she comes home from school crying after a boy told her to take it off because girls ‘don’t play’ sports.”
‘Hours shy of our wedding, at 5 months pregnant, I was assaulted. My fiancé sat in the fetal position, berating himself. ‘I don’t know what is wrong with me,’ he said, begging me to forgive him.’
“With 3 children, I filed for divorce. It meant food stamps. We all shared the same bed. I decided to do the craziest thing – leave a stable job to fly for the airlines. Single moms don’t do that, right? As I shut down the engine, I could hear my kids yelling, ‘Mommy!’ I was not broken.”
‘Your dad isn’t ready to give up the cuddles he’s getting in Heaven yet. He knows this baby will never know him. He wants to get to know baby as long as possible first.’
“The last few weeks of pregnancy are the slowest. Your pelvis is on fire! Your hemorrhoids are raging. Your penguin waddle CLEARLY screams dilated-to-a-4! You whisper to yourself, ‘I’m going to be pregnant forever, aren’t I?’ But then, a stranger sent me a message.”
‘My dad began boarding up the windows for fear of people watching him. Spending nights in our attic filming neighbors. Insisting there was footage of a red laser being shined into his room.’
“My father was not a part of my life early on. He was successful businessman and wasn’t ready for a kid. But my mom was struggling, and he could give me what my mom couldn’t. Until he changed too.”
‘I woke with a softball size lump on my neck. I couldn’t breathe. They looked at me like I had 3 heads. Without saying a word, the doctor packs the wound and sends me on my way.’
“I fell asleep. The blood from the gauze had dried to the pillow. When I rolled over, it pulled the gauze out of the fresh wound. I panicked. I went into the bathroom. This was the most insane moment of my existence.”
‘The phone rang at 5 a.m. ‘You need to come to the hospital. Your father is not doing well.’ My father? In the hospital? No way. He was a healthy, happy man. How could he be that sick?’
“14 years later, devastation struck once again. I lost my 19-year-old son in a tragic, earth-shattering suicide. The only comfort I have, is that my father was there to welcome him home. He was not easily influenced by peer pressure. Or, so we thought.”
‘Your dad is going to die. This is a gut-wrencher. You will adopt a child. He will be your brother – the 4th child your dad has with his new wife.’
“Your dad’s wife will die unexpectedly of a drug overdose, followed by your dad to cancer just days later. Before your dad dies, he will sign over custody to you. You will fight tooth and nail through the courts for this child. This is your rock bottom.”
‘I got a text from my mom. It said ‘Hey Crystal, give me a call when you get a chance, when the kids aren’t around, you’re not driving and not going to work.’ I knew right away it wasn’t going to be great news.’
“I went to the only place I knew I could actually be alone, and able to talk without little ears around. I sat in my car, in the driveway and I dialed my phone, my mom answered, and we had the conversation. The one that you never want to have.”