“In a different ER, a few floors below from where my daughter was, another doctor pulled a different curtain, looked at my husband and me, and said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Time stopped at that moment.”
‘I’m sorry, but we found a mass in your daughter’s brain.’ I thought that would be the worst day of my life. Little did I know, only 13 days later, THAT would actually be the worst day of my life.’
‘Hear me out, before you say anything.’ Those are the first words I heard. ‘It’s a girl and she’s due next month.’ I could barely speak.’
“My husband cut me off mid-sentence and simply said, ‘Yes, this is our daughter.’ Before we hung up, I could hear him telling everyone around him, ‘I’m going to be a dad.’”
‘She said they become ‘the pet of the school.’ The life I imagined crashed before me and fell to pieces. I heard the words, ‘She has characteristics of Down syndrome.’
“But then, I saw my daughter with her big marble colored eyes and blonde hair. Finally, I embraced it.”
‘I went to the ER expecting to find out I was anemic, get treatment and be good to go. Instead, I got that diagnosis. Our worlds were turned upside down.’
“We are almost completely out of milk for her. I am continuing my fight daily in hopes I’m able to watch all of my children grow up, and grow old myself with my husband.”
‘When I was 16 years old, I weighed 130 pounds. I felt like a cow. My friends were much smaller, and much slimmer. I always felt so unworthy. Sloppy. Lazy. Gross.’
“No matter how hard I tried, my size 8 body never fit into their size 2 clothes. I always felt so fat. My body has changed a lot. But my thoughts on my body have not. I’m still just as harsh. This has to stop.”
‘I was starting to look pregnant, my boobs were huge, and I welcomed the nausea. The image appeared on the screen. I looked intently and finally asked, ‘where’s the heartbeat?!’
“I started laughing, mostly because it couldn’t possibly be true – I felt pregnant, I looked pregnant, and a week before, things were fine. I began sobbing.”
‘We found out we were pregnant at 17. We were scared. Soon after, we were having a second. I am so grateful for my ex. I never thought I would say those words. But here I am. So grateful for my ex.’
“We had the ‘million dollar’ family. A boy, a girl, and two high school sweethearts who got married and made it through teen pregnancy. But then, we started to lose the ‘spark.'”
‘I can’t! I can’t!’, it hurt so much in my chest at that moment I couldn’t say anything else. We were relieved our little girl’s suffering was about to end, just not the way we had hoped.’
“We were told she would be okay. We were told she was strong. We were led to believe she wouldn’t need to be hospitalized. After being intubated, her father was showering, and I heard what sounded like crackling.”
‘Five weeks after Dorothy died, my nephew was born. I was so happy he was here, but was also happy he lived across the country so I didn’t have to see him yet. ‘And,’ she replied.’
“I looked at her puzzled, so she continued. ‘And. You are happy he is here AND you are happy you don’t have to see him right now. You don’t have to choose.’ After we left our session that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about that one little word.”
‘Some of the best Grandmas live in heaven. That’s what I tell my sons when they ask where Nana lives, and if we can go to her house, just once, to see what it’s like there.’
“I want them to know they will lose people. People they love, people that are important to them. But just because we lose someone, doesn’t mean they are gone.”
