dealing with stillborn loss

‘Sweet dreams baby boy, mummy loves you.’ The tiniest coffin lowered into the ground. That’s when it really hits you.’: Woman loses son to Edward’s Syndrome, ‘We gave him the most love we possibly could’

“We sat down that night with our oldest two. We explained we were so truly lucky because instead of a baby to bring home, we were given the rarest of gifts: an angel baby. They sobbed, ‘But we want him to come home.’ We purchased his plot where he would soon be laid to rest. At 32 weeks, we met with the funeral director – all as he kicked playfully inside my belly.”

‘Omg, I still have to have the baby.’ It was the worst realization. My first experience with birth would be giving birth to death.’: Woman births stillborn due to knot in the umbilical cord, ‘I got my little girl but at the same time, I didn’t’

“My first experience with birth would be giving birth to death. ‘What are you here for?’ ‘A c-section,’ I responded. ‘How exciting! Do you know the sex?’ ‘No, we don’t,’ I said, thinking she should just give me the damn wristband and let me go. ‘Oh, that’s so fun. Congratulations!’ Our doctor said, ‘It’s a GIRL.’ I remember that first look and the love that overcame me.”

‘Patty, I can feel him, we have to go.’ There was no time to talk. ‘We love you, I’m so sorry.’ His last heartbeat was lying on my chest.’: Moms are given terminal diagnosis for baby boy, ‘We decided to celebrate. He was going to be loved.’

“I didn’t want to waste any moment I could have with him. It was hard not to notice his body changing, the color leaving, his skin hardening and getting so cold. I often wonder if I made the right decision keeping him with me for so long–but I know I did. Then the time came to hand him over. The nurse kept telling me to take as much time as I needed and I finally had to tell her, ‘If you keep telling me that, I will never leave.’ He gave me the biggest gift of all: he made me a mother.”

‘When are you going to try again?’ I was still unable to wipe after going to the bathroom. My baby was being reduced to nothing but a ‘try.’: Couple births second daughter one year after first is stillborn, ‘I already WAS a mother’

“As my belly grew, I began being asked the ‘Is this your first?’ question by anyone, from the cashier at Target to the waitress while out for dinner. My answer was, ‘No, this is my second. My first child died.’ You could tell by the uncomfortable look on their faces that my response was always unexpected, met with pity and also toxic positivity. I already WAS a mother.”

 Share  Tweet