“Just a few weeks later, I woke up one morning feeling ‘different.’ I really can’t explain it, because it didn’t make any sense. But something in me, knew. I sat shaking with a pregnancy test in my hands. My body was barely functioning. But against all odds, two pink lines appeared.”
‘He was just gone. I came home one night to the apartment my boyfriend and I shared to find everything was missing. He terminated our lease and emptied our joint bank account.’
‘I was in high school, crammed in a car with my girlfriends, driving to the hospital to support our best friend, who was about to place her baby boy into the arms of a woman she didn’t know, and say goodbye to him forever.’
“By the time we got to the hospital she had already delivered him. I remember walking in the room to see my beautiful friend laying there, a sheen of sweat still visible on her forehead, tired, solemn and more quiet than usual – and thinking she was the bravest, strongest, person I’d ever known.”
‘Oh! You’re a 7. Let’s see what happens if you push.’ We were hurried back into the delivery room because this baby was coming RIGHT NOW.’
“We got the call. THE CALL. A baby had been born the day prior, and his birth mother had chosen us to raise him. We spent the next 12 hours frantically rushing around. And then, literally on our way out the door, we got another call: she had changed her mind. This wasn’t our baby.”
‘Don’t worry, when he’s here you can wrap him in a blanket and nobody will ever know he’s different.’ That’s all it took for the tears to start. This was all too much.’
“‘The only thing I worry about is his size,’ I said, smiling. I was terrified of having to push out anything bigger than 8 pounds. How ironic now, come to think of it. They asked me what I already knew about his condition. Nothing, I realized I knew absolutely nothing.”
‘They plopped her on my tummy, facing her daddy. I cried the happiest tears. But, my husband looked at me with the most concerned look on his face. He knew.’
“It’s 2 o’clock in the morning, my water breaks on the toilet. No contractions, no leaking. I assumed it was urine, so I went back to bed. I called the nurse line when I woke up. ‘It’s most likely just urine from the baby shifting on your bladder.’ But for the first time ever? On my due date?”
‘The nurses started whispering I didn’t want to see my own daughter, that I was rejecting her. After hearing those comments, I got up. I touched her face. I told her, ‘Your mom is here.’
“I admit, her appearance is shocking to most people. Sometimes it’s impossible to not be uncomfortable when people stare at us in the street, and see her as an alien. I dream they can see her like I do, as a beautiful little girl.”
‘I received ‘the call.’ It was a typical Sunday. My phone rang and it was my husband’s uncle. My heart immediately started pounding. I knew before he spoke this had to be about a baby.’
“‘You were meant to be this baby’s mom. I feel like I am just a vessel carrying this baby for someone else. I think you and your husband would be amazing parents.’ I ran into our tiny hallway and jumped into my husband’s arms. ‘This is the one I just know it!’”
‘Babe, while you were gone, they found some things wrong with the baby.’ I had no idea how I was going to tell him. He missed it all. He had no clue.’
“Brian watched from a phone screen 3,000 miles away as our darling daughter Adaline drew her first breath. Quietly she came, and our lives were never the same.”
‘It was twins! In the back of my head though, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and our happy world to come tumbling down. It did, but not until later.’
“They were out of all other options. Phoenix was bleeding into his lungs, and they couldn’t figure out a way to stop it. The nurse was calling other hospitals to figure out an accurate dose of medical cocaine to administer. What?? This can’t be happening!”
‘I sat on the line stunned. ‘There are only 34 cases ever on record. He is as rare as they come.’ I peered in at him and thought, they were wrong, somehow this was just a fluke.’
“I was anxious to make my way to the NICU. I walked into the very room our daughter had been in and instantly knew our situation was much different than before. The doctor didn’t waste a minute of my time trying to sugar coat the situation.”
