“He shot back with a look on his face I had never seen before. Fear, maybe. Shock. Panic. Oh God, what was it? The blood left his face. He was pale. Almost confused.”
‘What is wrong? Is something wrong?’ He didn’t answer me. ‘Chad, seriously, tell me what’s wrong.’ He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and leaned in.’
‘This year, I did a thing. A great, big, huge, beautiful thing. I put my wedding ring back on.’
“I will not take this ring off again until I meet the man who recognizes my value and wants to love me completely – just like my husband. I will no longer waste my time trying to convince somebody to pick me.”
‘There is NOTHING right about this picture, but EVERYTHING is right about it. Because it’s the only Christmas picture I have.’
“I never understood the value in having them until I couldn’t have them anymore. I thought I had time. But I didn’t.”
‘I never thought I would have to say, ‘Now, kids, don’t go jumping in the attic because, well you know, you might fall through the ceiling one day.’
“The minute my phone dinged and I saw it – I knew. I just knew. I shook my head and bit my lip to keep the tears of fury from coming, but I instinctively knew what happened – teenagers. That’s what.”
‘Yes, I am a single, widow in her 40s. I know that can be tough to deal with. But frankly, I am tired of hearing, ‘I don’t think I can ever live up to him.’
“There’s something about ‘dating a widow’ that is so hard, and so intimidating for men. They struggle with the idea that a woman can develop feelings for somebody while still loving a man who has passed away.”
‘Suddenly, everything changed. He became irritated with me. He snapped at me. Then he said something I never thought I would hear: ‘I want you to leave.’
“The day he kicked me out of his hospital room, they had a conversation. She asked him how he was. She told him she missed him. His next text was simple.”
‘He thought he lost his wedding ring. We went back in, couldn’t find it. I asked him again where he thinks he lost it. ‘I don’t know. I just heard it hit the ground.’
“He was confused. He was tired. I couldn’t even be upset. ‘We will find it. It’s ok.’ My heart said we would. My brain knew we wouldn’t. Right then, I accepted he was going to die, and he was going to do that without his ring.”
‘He was just gone. My heart aches he only got to love her for 13 years. I hate he’s not here to carve pumpkins, or yell out ‘Happy Halloween’ and cackle. I still feel that despair deep in my bones.’
“That man could do anything. I hate this. You have no idea how much I really, really hate this. She needs him. I need him. We all need him.”
‘The control, manipulation and deceit were hard to recognize, but when it became clear, it was devastating. She said to me, ‘Nobody will ever believe you.”
“I was angry. I really believed she was doing everything she was because she cared about me.”
‘He woke up in silence and called my name. It was his way of saying ‘goodbye.’ I made my way through the IV’s and monitors and laid next to my husband in the hospital bed.’
“When he was admitted into the hospital, I wanted to be there in the middle of the night if he needed me. One night, he did.”
