diaper

‘Are you kidding me, mom?! Help me!’ It’s an explosion of epic proportions. Do we salvage this outfit? Heck. NO!’: Mom hilariously recounts every mother’s worst nightmare, the diaper blowout

“It’s so goopy. It’s E V E R Y W H E R E! In crevasses you didn’t know existed. It’s up the back, and down the legs. More creeps onto your hand with every wipe. You’re gagging. You pick baby up and hold him Lion King style, praying that none splatters onto the floor as you shuffle towards the sink. ‘This isn’t that bad… this isn’t… that… bad…’ You’re trying not to be dramatic. But you’re totally being dramatic.”

‘I take him to the doctor. ‘It’s an emergency!’ I remembered someone put sliced potatoes in their child’s sock, and it helped them feel better. No runny nose, he was cured. So, I did it!’

“I’ll tell you what it DID do. It made my husband think I had lost my mind when the baby is screaming and instead of being with him, I’m in the kitchen stomping around, gathering potatoes like a farmer and trying to slice them like I’m prepping to scalloped potatoes, like a mad woman, chanting, ‘Potatoes! He needs potatoes!’”

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