“My husband of 16 years. My best friend. The father to my 9 and 12-year-old beautiful boys. He left that morning for work. He never came home. I never saw his beautiful smile again. He just never came home.”
‘I had to tell them. ‘Your dad died by suicide.’ Words I knew would change their lives forever. Words no child should hear. I had to be honest with them. I was terrified.’
‘The nurse asked my husband, ‘Do you know your wife is an alcoholic?’ He knew. ‘Was the cop there for me?,’ I thought, frozen in fear.’
“I ended up buying a $1,500 puppy at the mall, taking a picture on the mall Santa’s lap by myself and checking into a hotel. Apparently, I walked from the hotel to an outdoor mall where I was arrested in a blackout for ‘drunk walking’ in public. Yes, I was arrested by the mall cops.”
‘The ultrasound tech said, ‘Your baby is small.’ But, ‘it’s probably nothing.’ Later that day, my baby’s father died of suicide. I had not only lost my friend forever, but my baby had lost her father.’
“I had never planned to be a mother, at least not at age 23. My baby’s father, who I had been friends with for years and had just started dating, did not want me to continue the pregnancy. The timing could not have been worse. He was furious with me.”
‘I begged for you to stay the night, but you said you had to go. I gave you a big hug, not knowing it would be the last. You told me you would see me soon. I believed you.’
“As it hit midnight, I felt this overwhelming urge to call you. I knew something wasn’t right. I fell to the floor in shock. ‘Your sister has taken her life.’ I could not believe you were gone.”
