“Single motherhood was rough. The judgement was hard, and I lost friends. Having 3 children while unmarried is frowned upon, especially here in the south. People never took the time to find out why I had 3 children this way, because they had their own assumptions. I didn’t think I’d find someone who’d want to marry me. Then I met Josey. 5 months later, we were married. The emotion was too much. Finally, a daughter.”
‘I was a single mom, had 3 fatherless WILD boys, and major baggage. But my daughter is destined for great purpose.’: Mom finally ‘blessed’ with baby girl after 3 boys as a single mother, teen pregnancy
‘They would only keep me if I agreed to do electroconvulsive therapy. People warned me. I was told I shouldn’t do it. I felt I had no other option. To me, it was this or death.’
“I remember being rolled into an operation room while lying in a hospital bed. I looked up at the ceiling and prayed this would work. I was nervous. Quickly, the anesthesia knocked me out. I received over 10 treatments. My body ached, but not as much as my soul. I longed for peace.”
‘Where is she?!’ There was no time to call for help. With one forceful kick, the lock snapped. I ran around the house, my mind racing. Then, I opened her bedroom door.’
“My body was in complete panic. A high-pitched ring pierced my ears. I held her in my arms. This wasn’t part of the plan. This was supposed to be her fresh start.”
‘I had to tell them. ‘Your dad died by suicide.’ Words I knew would change their lives forever. Words no child should hear. I had to be honest with them. I was terrified.’
“My husband of 16 years. My best friend. The father to my 9 and 12-year-old beautiful boys. He left that morning for work. He never came home. I never saw his beautiful smile again. He just never came home.”
‘The nurse asked my husband, ‘Do you know your wife is an alcoholic?’ He knew. ‘Was the cop there for me?,’ I thought, frozen in fear.’
“I ended up buying a $1,500 puppy at the mall, taking a picture on the mall Santa’s lap by myself and checking into a hotel. Apparently, I walked from the hotel to an outdoor mall where I was arrested in a blackout for ‘drunk walking’ in public. Yes, I was arrested by the mall cops.”
‘The ultrasound tech said, ‘Your baby is small.’ But, ‘it’s probably nothing.’ Later that day, my baby’s father died of suicide. I had not only lost my friend forever, but my baby had lost her father.’
“I had never planned to be a mother, at least not at age 23. My baby’s father, who I had been friends with for years and had just started dating, did not want me to continue the pregnancy. The timing could not have been worse. He was furious with me.”
‘I begged for you to stay the night, but you said you had to go. I gave you a big hug, not knowing it would be the last. You told me you would see me soon. I believed you.’
“As it hit midnight, I felt this overwhelming urge to call you. I knew something wasn’t right. I fell to the floor in shock. ‘Your sister has taken her life.’ I could not believe you were gone.”
