died

‘I’m scared. I don’t want to do this without you,’ I told him. ‘This isn’t goodbye. I love you so much. I have no regrets.’ I was in denial. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.’

“We dated for 4 months, were engaged for 6 months and got married. Now we were in the hospital. I walked down the long, cold hallways to see my husband, my heart pounding out of my chest. I saw it right away. He was not the same. Something had changed. This is where I came undone. I was losing him.”

‘Wait. Are those police lights? I walked closer to the intersection. ‘What happened?’ I grabbed an officer. ‘Ma’am. What is your name?’ I answered. Silence.’

“He grabbed the remote and asked if I wanted something to eat. I said I could throw something in the oven for us. However, he wanted something from the store. ‘Fine, but just take the car, boo,’ I whined. ‘Babe, let me be a man,’ he smirked as he closed the door. It shouldn’t have taken him more than 30 minutes. Where was he?”

‘My husband bungee corded my kid to the backseat. Not kidding. She was 3 years old. I honestly didn’t believe it. But there she was, strapped in a makeshift five-point harness.’

“He let me sleep in. Imagine my shock waking up at 10 a.m. to not a sound in the world. Not the pitter patter of little feet, not the tugging of my sheets followed by, ‘mom, mom, mom,’ not the sounds of cartoons. I yawned, threw my hair into a messy bun and made my way downstairs thinking I would find an empty house or sleeping angel children. I didn’t find that.”

‘She sat next to her dying father, her best friend, and grabbed his hand. She whispered in his ear it was ‘ok to go.’ She would be alright. He could stop being in pain.’

“With her hair in a ponytail and her face stained with tears, she pet his hair while he gasped for air. She put a cross in his hand when she knew he was never coming back. She kissed him on the cheek and uttered ‘goodbye.’ She sat with him for an hour after he stopped breathing, making sure he was not alone.”

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