dinner

‘Hand them over.’ I asked her why. ‘You-guys-are-on-them-too-much.’ Say what? Us guys? Us?’: Mom stunned when 16-year-old ‘budding Instagram model’ daughter insists on no screen time at dinner

“My 16-year-old daughter pointed to each of us. She put out her hand, palm up. No lie, I was confused. Why did she have her hand out? Did she want a high-five? Was she looking for money? There had to be something wrong. She placed them on the table, screen down, and then made eye contact with us. I mean, ACTUAL eye contact. I stared at her, hanging onto every-single-word.”

‘Tragically, she died by poisoning.’ Needless to say, I was aghast, horrified. ‘Holy cow, I’m so sorry.‘: Woman recalls sarcastic husband’s morbid first date joke, ‘He was laughing so hard he was gasping for breath’

“We begin making more small talk. ‘You mentioned you’ve been married twice. What happened with your second wife?’ Manny sat straight up in his chair and looked me in the eye. ‘Well, sadly, she died as well…’ By now I’m thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, I could end up in the back of his trunk.’ Our server hands us our food. We just sat there across from each other in silence.”

‘Me: Kids, I’m going to go take a quick shower. Child: Can I have a snack? Me: No, I’m going to make dinner. Another child: Can you help me find my pink dragon with glittery wings?’

“Yet another child: Can I tell you about this new game that’s coming out that I really want for Christmas? Me: Yes, after my shower. Walks upstairs. Children follow. Child: How MANY pieces of candy can I have after dinner? Yet another child: So I can get that game for Christmas? Steps out of shower.”

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