“We got to know our birth mother. We bonded over our dreams for this child. But, something about her didn’t feel right. She knew exactly what she was doing, and who she was playing. She knew all about me and my infertility. And she knew we would do anything to help her, because that’s the kind of people we are.”
‘She’d ask for money. The knots in my stomach grew. Then, our attorney called. Our birth mother had been working with 4 other families, promising her baby to them too. We’d been scammed.’
‘Their mom unexpectedly passed. My heart hurt for them, but inside I was glad she wouldn’t fight us for them anymore.’ Family fosters 2 teens who they ‘loved instantly’ despite troubled past
“We were looking into adoption. It was dicey. Their mom was doing JUST enough to make it seem like she was on track to get them home, but barely. And then we got the news. We didn’t think much of the warning signs.”
‘He told me he had been married before, and divorced. He now shared 2 children with his ex-wife. In that moment, time stood still.’
“The first time I met their mother, I was terrified. My mind raced with a million possible scenarios of who she was, of how this meeting would go, NONE of which I could see ending well. Hell no.”
‘He rubbed my wedding ring. ‘I don’t love you anymore. I don’t think I want to be married to you.’ It was like a sledgehammer in the chest. All I remember saying is, ‘You don’t mean that.’
“I requested a detailed cellphone bill. That’s when our story changed. My stomach dropped as I saw the SAME phone number on page after page. He was Snapchatting with a single woman. Minutes later, he showed up at our house.”
‘After 6 months of marriage, he sat down and said, ‘I’m not happy, and it’s because of you.’ I told him to get out of our apartment, and be moved out by the time I got back.’
“When he was leaving me, I asked him, ‘Why did you lie? Why did you say you loved me and recite vows to me on our wedding day if you never had intentions of seeing it though?’ He replied, ‘It takes two to have a dysfunctional relationship.’ He was right. I wasn’t dysfunctional any longer.”
‘When my son was 10 months old, his daddy, my husband, left. He left the state. Left me to care for a baby alone. How could this happen to me? I did everything right. It broke me.’
“In the midst of my own grief, my son still needed me, more than ever. I still felt so isolated and alone. I couldn’t just pass my kid off to someone else. He needed me.”
‘I was left at the altar. Instead of ‘I do’ I got 5 gut-wrenching words. ‘I just can’t do it.’ He didn’t look me in the eye. I caught him in a half-run and collapsed to the ground, sobbing.’
“I saw my mother rise up. ‘I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!’ I looked out at a sea of concerned faces, my own red from embarrassment. I just wanted to know who she was. The reason my heart was blown to pieces. When I returned home, all of his things were gone. Then it came. Two days later. A message to my sister.”
‘My husband left me after going into a depression. He just kept saying it was ‘his problem.’ He decided this life, our life, wasn’t for him.’
“He was stuck in a marriage he didn’t want to be in. The night we separated he told me he loved me but, ‘Not in that way’ anymore. He told me not to cry, he couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t breathe.”
‘He told me he was my master. He demanded complete obedience. He was always disappearing. He told me it was my fault. He told me I was crazy.’
“He took me to expensive restaurants. He remembered my favorite wine. He let me spend the night. I spent all my energy trying to impress him. I didn’t want to be a single mom. I didn’t want to be alone. I made the hardest decision of my life.”
‘I found YEARS of mail in his trunk. My husband was living a double life and had another daughter! He abandoned us in a Target parking lot and changed the locks to our home.’
“He was a con-artist living a double life. All of our belongings were thrown out like trash. My daughter and I tried to make the best of our ‘vacation’ as I called it, while I cried and washed clothes in a hotel sink. I thought to myself, ‘How could I be so dumb?'”
