divorcee

‘To the girl in love with an addict, his failures are not your failures. His demons are not your demons.’: Mom comes to terms with husband’s addiction, advises addict spouses to ‘hang in there’

“To the girl in love with an addict, I saw you sit in your car alone at halftime and breakdown. I see you and your fake smile. Don’t worry, they all still believe you’re fine. You’ve gotten so good at crying hard, getting it all out fast, and getting back to your seat before anyone even realizes you’re gone. Please don’t let him make you think his addiction is your fault. This has nothing to do with you at all. You deserve better than this.”

‘My husband left to work on a ‘project.’ Receipts for bars, motels showed up on MY credit card. I demanded he show me his texts. ‘You’re not going to like it.’: Woman gets huge wake-up call after husband leaves for ‘work’

“Shaking and my heart pounding, I scrolled through comments. ‘I miss you.’ ‘What are you wearing?’ ‘When do I get to see you again?’ I don’t know how it started. I woke up with purple bruises on my throat in the outline of my husband’s fingers. I never questioned my decision.”

‘Here we go.’ We started the process of reversing his vasectomy. My husband had no intention of having more children.’: Couple shares adventure of trying-to-conceive after doctor says they have ‘no answers’

“I told Jeremy, ‘We need to talk.’ I was so nervous my voice trembled. I told him, ‘A few days ago I took a pregnancy test. It was positive.’ He gasped and immediately smiled. I continued, ‘but after getting my blood work repeated, my levels are not increasing. I started bleeding on the drive down.’ His smile quickly turned to confusion. ‘So you weren’t pregnant?’ He couldn’t understand how something could begin and end all so quickly.”

‘I didn’t feel safe in my own home. It took 3 years for me to find the courage to ask for a divorce. I developed stomach ulcers from all the stress. The end was inevitable.’

“I had experienced years of him ‘bending’ the truth, of him telling me I was ‘too much,’ trying to diagnose me with different types of mental illness. Little did I know, there was more to come. I found reserves I never knew I had, but that’s what moms do. We do everything possible to make sure our children don’t get hurt.”

‘I choked out, ‘So, their dad and I are no longer living together.’ 8 months into fostering two of the girls, and 2 months after saying ‘yes!’ to adopting, my children’s father and I separated.’

“We had 5 kids and had just celebrated 6 years of marriage. Our entire life crashed, the walls built with facades and fantasies. I was secretly dying inside. It was silent, painful. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be taking family photos without a husband, my children’s father.”

‘I married a wealthy man at the age of 19. He was already divorced and 15 years older. I ran away and broke all ties with my parents. I was vulnerable.’

“I remember someone from another relationship telling me, ‘You should be happy, at least I am taking off one major thing in your to-do list by marrying you!’ I made the decision that my son and I will never meet him again. People often remind me I am a single mother. I tell them, ‘I was a single mother even when I was married.’”

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