“How could this be happening? How could we possibly be expecting TWO more babies just 4 MONTHS after the birth of our son? But it was. It was a punch in a gut. The kind of news that took your breath away.”
‘She turned the screen towards us. ‘Here is baby number 1, here is baby number 2…’ ‘PLEASE STOP COUNTING!,’ is all I could manage to say. The room fell quiet.’
‘You’re 12 weeks along, but it looks like the baby hasn’t grown since the 8-week mark.’ I blurted out, ‘Oh, well that’s a bummer.’ I felt like monster.’
“It was hard for my husband to look at me. We had to call our family and tell them the news. They took it much harder than I did. All my mom wanted to do was hug me. It was very smothering.”
‘The doctor starts clicking away on the ultrasound machine, trying to get a better look. ‘Well, you are pregnant.’ He said it looked ‘good.’ Then, he went silent.’
“I woke up at 1 a.m. on our wedding anniversary, and felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. This wasn’t unusual. I had been pregnant for over a month. But something didn’t feel right.”
‘I let out a loud cry and immediately the words ‘I’M GOING TO BE A MOM’ poured out. My husband was in the other room and screamed ‘WHAT!’ We sobbed for hours. We couldn’t believe it.’
“I will never forget the moment our doctor told us. I was terrified what his next response would be. What happened? I broke down in tears. I was a healthy 26 year old. I could not understand.”
‘I can’t! I can’t!’, it hurt so much in my chest at that moment I couldn’t say anything else. We were relieved our little girl’s suffering was about to end, just not the way we had hoped.’
“We were told she would be okay. We were told she was strong. We were led to believe she wouldn’t need to be hospitalized. After being intubated, her father was showering, and I heard what sounded like crackling.”
‘Without any emotion he said, ‘It didn’t make it.’ Twice. ‘Why didn’t anyone call me?’ He was busy. We just sat there in disbelief, and I cried.’
“Before I was wheeled back to surgery, my husband told me he loved me. The last thing I remember was going into the OR a little dizzy, the mask being put on my face, and tears falling while I closed my eyes. It was time to say goodbye.”
‘His skull looked as thin as a piece of paper. We were given the option to terminate at 7 months pregnant. He’s not dead yet.’
“The next day I got the call. ‘Jessica, can you come into the doctor’s office tonight?’ I was just heading out the door for work, but she said, ‘Jessica, you need to come in now please’.”
‘I place my son on the table. I’m concerned about the size of his belly. ‘Does it look too big?’ I see the fear on her face. My heart drops.’
“Sobs come from my chest, uncontrollably. This cannot actually be happening. I tell my husband to get Jameson dressed, in his car seat, and out the door now.”
‘The doctor was staring up my vagina with a flashlight. ‘Whoa! He has some really blonde hair.’ AND I JUST KNEW. My husband smiled. ‘He’s an albino.’
“We should’ve realized there was something extra special with him when nurses were coming in to see the ‘baby with the white hair.’ It was so white it would sparkle in the sunlight. My mother in law stared in awe and said, ‘He’s like a special little fairy.’”
‘I open up a box of tampons and they all come falling out. My son asks, ‘what’s that?’ I say, ‘they’re baby mice!’ ‘Aww cute!,’ he said, while I’m internally laughing.’
“My son starts saying cute things at the doctor. He looks her in the eyes and says, ‘My mommy puts baby mice in her bum bum.’ The doctor looks horrified and says, ‘pardon?'”
