“It was the same with everyone. The same love songs, the same pet names, the same date night spots, the same EVERYTHING. In a ten-day period, he cheated with 3 people. He played it off as him being drunk and stupid. I believed it at the time. I didn’t tell friends or family. ‘If I can’t even make a marriage work, what else will I fail at?!’ I kept it private, until things began to boil.”
‘He lit my insides on fire. So, I did it. I married him. My body signaled that something was off. I pegged it as nerves. I didn’t know about the pools of women.’ Woman breaks free from abusive relationship
‘I have very little memory of what happened next. I woke up to his friend’s girlfriend dragging me across the garden. She was screaming, it was such a terrifying scream. But why? Whatever she had seen had terrified her.’
“She dragged me to the front door and I can remember feeling panicked. Where was the key? We were locked in, slipping on the blood pouring from my face on the laminate floor.”
‘The intensity of our fights made me think he loved me. We’d break up, get back together. I was addicted to chaos. When he returned from Iraq, he said, ‘Bad news. You’re both going to jail.’
“I saw his eyes change and I knew I was in trouble. My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. We figured once we moved, our problem wouldn’t follow us. Turns out, wherever you go, your problems follow you!”
‘He proposed in a big, elaborate way in front of my family. I was terrified. I didn’t know how or when, but I knew my life was over. I had to make my move.’ Woman escapes after decade-long abuse
“From the outside, our relationship looked perfect. We were a good-looking couple, young and vibrant. We had a wonderful social circle, luxurious vacations. No one knew I was being trained to accept abuse so horrible my hair would fall out – literally. I didn’t recognize the red flags waving right in front of my face.”
‘Get out,’ he said. He left me on the side of the road and ran over my phone. It was pouring rain. I was in my pajamas, barefoot. ‘Mom, I think I made a mistake.’
“It was New Year’s Eve and I was four days late for my period. I felt a hot flash and burning sensation spread across my face. I awoke to his voice. ‘Who is this guy you’ve been texting?’”
‘She tried to warn me years before. ‘You’re crazy and a liar,’ I told her. We had nothing in common but our abuser. Desperate and alone, I told her my story. I’ll never forget what she did.’
“Three days later, I called him. ‘Can you come pick me up?’ When we got home, the first thing he did was point out my black eye. I opened the truck door, sore, bandaged, and broken when he said, ‘Wow, that looks pretty rough.’”
‘On the night of our honeymoon, I saw the DARKER side of my husband. My heart was beating out of my chest. He crouched down and whispered in my ear, ‘You… are NOT going to tell me what to do.’ I felt instant regret.’
“I went to my bedroom and packed everything as fast as I could. My phone pinged. ‘You’ve got 1 new voicemail!”
‘I was the ‘fat kid’ and my father was disgusted with me. Fat people were never the heroes or love interests. My mind became a very dark place.’
“I didn’t realize I was ‘the fat kid’ until 5th grade when a classmate so helpfully pointed it out to me. That’s when my carefree childhood ended. I started to find my way in the world. However, I was still plagued by my negative body image. My solution? Find a man to validate me.”
