“My grandma passed away, and everything came crumbling down around me. I was alone. I needed him more than anything now. I needed his support, I needed him to hold me and listen to the speech I had prepared for her funeral. Instead, he did the exact opposite. ‘I need space,’ he said. SPACE?!”
‘You’re an angel,’ he said to me after a night of being told I was worthless. The sun started to shine through the window, it reeked of booze and I had yet to sleep. I wanted to be that ‘angel.’
‘He dragged me out of a bar. I begged him to stop. I remember his face. His eyes looked so evil. I loved him so blindly, I didn’t realize I was losing myself.’
“The hospital staff and police officers were horrified, they told me I looked like an animal attacked me. How did I end up here? I wanted to show off our love, he wasn’t in the mood that night. I looked out of the window and watched him leave the apartment. That killed me.”
‘He proposed. ‘You’ll NEVER find a man as good as me.’ I was ecstatic and terrified. Finally, we will be married and everything will be perfect. I was lucky to have him, because HE would still love me.’
“My hair started falling out. The scariest part was that from the outside, our relationship looked perfect. We were a good-looking couple. Young and vibrant. We had a wonderful social circle and took luxurious vacations. No one knew, including me.”
‘He continued to call me, begging. The conversations were so strange, I started to record them. ‘I’m so sorry baby, I love you. I want to work this out.’ I ended up moving for my safety.’
“Yesterday was dentist day for me. I sat in the chair anxiously waiting, nervous as hell and scared. I wasn’t scared to see the dentist, but scared to have to explain what had happened.”
‘He told me he was my master. He demanded complete obedience. He was always disappearing. He told me it was my fault. He told me I was crazy.’
“He took me to expensive restaurants. He remembered my favorite wine. He let me spend the night. I spent all my energy trying to impress him. I didn’t want to be a single mom. I didn’t want to be alone. I made the hardest decision of my life.”
‘An older man said to my sister, ‘Let me get a taste of that.’ He was sticking his tongue out and wiggling it. She instantly turned red. She was 12. He laughed and I did, too. I don’t know why, but I did.’
“This is what it REALLY means to be a man. It’s kissing my wife’s stomach and telling her she’s beautiful, even with her c-section scar and stretch marks. It’s telling my daughter ‘Honey, OWN that Jersey’ when she comes home from school crying after a boy told her to take it off because girls ‘don’t play’ sports.”
‘I can tell by the tears in your eyes no one has believed you, have they?,’ he asked. ‘No, they haven’t.’ He then replied, ‘Well I believe you.’ I had felt like a crazy person.’
“This man was 11 years older than me. We ended up getting married. I felt pressured into this marriage, as if I had no other option. So I did. He had dark secrets. I remember screaming for help. But no one would.”
‘If you EVER speak out, I know where the bullets are.’ I walked in the snow for miles in short sleeves. I woke up in the hospital, angry I survived, and pulled out all the hospital tubes.’
“I looked up from my bed and saw my mother and sister at the door. The look in their eyes is something I never want to see again. I feared that I had to be cured. I wish I had seen the warning signs.’
‘I was terrified something happened to the baby. He pulled me into my closet so neighbors couldn’t hear me screaming. My mom drove 3 hours in a snow storm to rescue me from him.’
“I found it scary how fast things were going, but I I loved him so much. I became pregnant shortly after meeting him. He vowed to protect us, love us, and always keep us safe. There was no doubt in my mind he was the one for me. Little did I know me becoming pregnant would awaken the monster within him.”
‘The voice was warning me, my fiancé was not who I thought he was. He was married. Had extra wives, extra children, a different name. A formally dead girlfriend and now alive wife.’
“He told me I had caused problems to his image and the man on the phone was ‘the Toe Cutter’ who wanted to put me through a tree shredder at a pig farm.”