“Leaving meant dying and staying meant torture. My mornings consisted of figuring out how much time I had to dry my eyes and wash the blood off before work. How much time I had before he came home to get on my hands and knees and pray for my life. On average? 11 minutes. Then the abuse clock started again. It’s not easy loving a domestic violence survivor, but my partner makes it look easy.”
‘You look so much more beautiful with a black eye.’ My entire life revolved around staying alive. There was no tomorrow, no next week. Just the now, and an escape plan.’: Young woman escapes domestic violence, finds love with ‘selfless’ man
‘Mama, where are we going?’ My heart raced as I tried to quietly get his shoes. And then I heard the noise I was terrified of hearing. Footsteps coming down the stairs.’ Woman escapes abusive partner, re-marries ‘wonderful, loving’ man
“I remember my teacher saying, ‘We’ve helped every way we can. Now, you have to find a way to leave.’ I opened the door, not knowing where to go, if he’d come after me. I called my stepmom and explained he’d been abusing me for years, that I just left him and needed to be picked up. Her response? ‘Can you call us back later? We’re just eating dinner.’ I didn’t have time left.”
‘I heard a cracking sound and a thud as my head hit the window. He threw the car into park. I’d ‘pushed his buttons’ and made him do it. He told me it was my fault.’ Woman recounts how ‘fairy tale’ quickly turned to abusive nightmare
“In slow motion, the scene still unspools in my head. ‘You loved me once,’ I croaked out, looking up at him. We had history. We had a home together. Failure was not an option. I clung to him, my heart believing if I just loved him enough, he’d emerge from the darkness.”
‘I came home around 2 a.m. Something wasn’t right. In a matter of minutes, my carpet was on fire.’: Brave woman recounts how she escaped domestic abuse
“I got pregnant and things hit the fan. He started disappearing. For DAYS. My tires were slashed. My window was smashed. The police rolled their eyes. When my neighbor saw me, she grabbed me and pulled me into her house. I was met with, ‘But you are so strong. You just don’t seem like the type.’”
‘He lit my insides on fire. So, I did it. I married him. My body signaled that something was off. I pegged it as nerves. I didn’t know about the pools of women.’ Woman breaks free from abusive relationship
“It was the same with everyone. The same love songs, the same pet names, the same date night spots, the same EVERYTHING. In a ten-day period, he cheated with 3 people. He played it off as him being drunk and stupid. I believed it at the time. I didn’t tell friends or family. ‘If I can’t even make a marriage work, what else will I fail at?!’ I kept it private, until things began to boil.”
‘The intensity of our fights made me think he loved me. We’d break up, get back together. I was addicted to chaos. When he returned from Iraq, he said, ‘Bad news. You’re both going to jail.’
“I saw his eyes change and I knew I was in trouble. My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. We figured once we moved, our problem wouldn’t follow us. Turns out, wherever you go, your problems follow you!”
‘I asked for $20 for diapers. My husband called me a ‘pathetic gold-digger’. It felt like a cruel joke. Post-labor, I became a full-time mom while he worked. We made this decision TOGETHER.’
“I felt my blood boiling. ‘Was this your plan all along? Mooch off me while you do NOTHING all day.’ He followed me into the bedroom. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.”
‘He proposed in a big, elaborate way in front of my family. I was terrified. I didn’t know how or when, but I knew my life was over. I had to make my move.’ Woman escapes after decade-long abuse
“From the outside, our relationship looked perfect. We were a good-looking couple, young and vibrant. We had a wonderful social circle, luxurious vacations. No one knew I was being trained to accept abuse so horrible my hair would fall out – literally. I didn’t recognize the red flags waving right in front of my face.”
‘If you EVER speak out, I know where the bullets are.’ I walked in the snow for miles in short sleeves. I woke up in the hospital, angry I survived, and pulled out all the hospital tubes.’
“I looked up from my bed and saw my mother and sister at the door. The look in their eyes is something I never want to see again. I feared that I had to be cured. I wish I had seen the warning signs.’
