“I was working at a strip club in Detroit, trading my body for drugs, deteriorating into nothingness. I sought refuge in another rehab and shortly after leaving, I found out again I was pregnant. I went in to see my OBGYN, cried over the possibility of an evil man being the baby’s father. I called my husband who knew the circumstances of my life and our relationship, but he was willing to be there for me in whatever way he could.”
‘HI MOMMY, I’M BABY A. HI, I’M BABY B.’ My eyes landed on, ‘HI MOMMY, I’M BABY C.’ Triplets, they deserved more.’: Mom credits unexpected triplets and husband with her helping to find sobriety
‘I’m looking down on you. LOOK UP. I SEE YOU.’ My son wrote his ‘goodbye letter,’ and ended his life.’: Mom loses son to meth addiction, suicide, claims she sees ‘signs, traces of him’ everywhere
“I got out of the car. My son asked me to hug him. ‘You know the one thing you told me never to do?’ I was confused. That’s when he dropped the bombshell on me. ‘I’ve been using drugs.’ I couldn’t believe my ears. He was not a smoker. He was very conscious about his health and was extremely fit. He showed no signs of addiction. How could I have missed this?”
‘I woke up in a different country, in a tattoo parlor, after a night of drinking. I have no idea how we were allowed on the plane. All I had was my passport.’
“I had no luggage, and was wearing my clothes from the night before. That night changed everything for me.”
‘I slept with him on our first date. Yes, we got pregnant.’: Woman’s addictions spiral out of control after birth of son
“I drank and pretty much slept with anyone–all while I was supposed to be being a mom to my 8-month-old son. My son was about to turn 1 and even though he didn’t know it, his own mother was getting ready to die, not getting ready for his party.”
‘Your sister is missing! She was last seen days ago wandering downtown. The police won’t file a missing person’s report!’ I got on the next plane home, determined to find her myself.’
“After years of searching for my sister, my stepdad asked me, ‘How long are you prepared to keep looking for her?’ She was gone, without a trace.”
‘Where is my son? You aren’t the person I raised,’ she said through tear-filled eyes. She was curled up having a nervous breakdown on the bathroom floor. Pleading me to stop, but I can’t do that.’
“Cops showed up at my mom’s house looking for me. She and I would hide behind the couch. She was my biggest enabler. Then, she had enough. With all of her jewelry, she said, ‘Is there anything you can sell so you can stop?’ There wasn’t anything real left. I had already sold it all.”
‘I wasn’t the stereotypical addict on the streets with no teeth, begging for money. I had children. I was functioning. I’d get up, eat, go to the gym. Then, I’d go on a bender for days.’
“I’d do whatever I could to distract myself from the fact that I felt alone. I always wanted to stop, but I didn’t know how. People around me knew, but never said anything. It made me feel like it was okay. I didn’t realize I needed to change until I lost my children. I decided if I couldn’t beat this and see my kids again, I’d kill myself.”
‘Behind closed doors, I was called ‘crazy’ and ‘too sensitive.’ We lived like roommates that slept together. I tried leaving. He promised to change, and he did, until I got pregnant again.’
“Into my life walks a man I knew since he got sober 4 years earlier. He and his girlfriend had recently broken up. I know my kids are watching us. Our children are always watching.”
‘I bumped into an old childhood friend. ‘What have you been up to?’ ‘I’m in rehab.’ I laughed, thinking it was a joke. Soon after, I asked him to meet me. I warned him about my appearance.’
“‘I don’t look the same as when you last saw me. I’m not doing too well,’ I said. My face was a mess. I had cuts and blood in my nostrils. In that coffee shop, I sat across from him crying. I was scared of telling anyone.”
‘If my mom wouldn’t have called the cops on my brother, I would have, without thinking twice. He is on a $10,000 unsecured bond. The person pressing charges—our mom.’
“He made the decision to uproot his life and move 1,200 miles to become our full-time ‘manny.’ Sadly, today, I wouldn’t DARE leave her in his care.”
