eating disorder treatment

‘Why would you do this to yourself? This is just bizarre.’ It’s hard to look in the mirror and see the damage I’ve done.’: Woman shares her history of self-mutilation and bulimia

“Sometimes I’d hit a vein and the blood would shoot out in an arc, creating stripes across the mirror and pouring into the sink. I was cutting away everything seemingly imperfect. Pulling out little threads which turned out to be nerves, partially paralyzing my lower lip and bits of my chin. I still didn’t stop.”

‘My mom said, ‘You have to leave. I’ll kill myself if you stay in this house with us.’ I was given one week.’: Woman overcomes neglect, eating disorder, ‘I wake up every day and choose recovery’

“When I had my first period, I felt I was confessing to a huge crime. I asked her, ‘Why?’ She simply said, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’ I moved into a rundown bed where nobody spoke English. There was no lock on the front door and I frequently saw and heard people doing drugs on the roof of my bedroom.”

‘I started taking illegal diet pills and abusing laxatives. The voice in my head said, ‘The numbers on the scale trump everything.’: Woman battles anorexia, ‘The control makes you feel invincible’

“I started taking diet pills I’d buy from random people. I had no idea what the ingredients were. All I knew is they made my heart race. A girl in my local area who was also taking them ended up with a colostomy bag from the side effects. ‘The risks are worth it.’ Anorexia became my safety blanket.”

‘I wouldn’t use Chapstick. I was afraid I might lick my lips and accidentally swallow some of it, convinced it would make me fat.’: Woman suffering eating disorder is admitted to recovery center, ‘We aren’t treated like people. We were treated like patients’

“All doors were alarmed, and I was surrounded by strangers. My identical twin made me a blanket to take to treatment. She wanted me to feel at home. The staff wouldn’t allow me to have it. Since I was still on Red level, I wasn’t allowed into my bedroom. I sat on the floor in the hallway by my room and cried to my mom on the phone, begging her to bring me home. As I cried on the floor, a patient walked up to me and handed me a little slip of paper. He had written ‘You can do this’ on a scrap of paper. I sobbed. I still have his note.”

‘Our beautiful, once vibrant Sarah is now a shell of a human.’ I was spiraling out of control. A monster was being born.’: Young woman overcomes eating disorder, ‘struggling is not a character flaw. You are worthy of help.’

“I was struggling in secret, terrified someone would find out. Bit-by-bit, I was disappearing. ‘You don’t need to use your body to show you’re hurting.’ School no longer mattered, and a monster was being born. Everyone walked on eggshells around me. Then all of a sudden, my parents learned what was happening. They were shocked.”

‘Oh, it’s just my skin.’ I’d stare in the mirror, worrying how to look as pretty as the other girls.’: Young woman born with vitiligo skin condition develops eating disorder to look as good as her peers, finally learns ‘recovery is worth it’

“‘As soon as someone notices something is wrong, I will stop.’ I was waiting for the attention. Girls would run away from me because they did not want to ‘catch my disease.’ Every day, while throwing away my lunch in school, or doing sit-ups in my bedroom, I started to feel proud. I was 13, and weighed 60 pounds. Your passions cannot be accomplished if you are struggling yourself.”

 Share  Tweet