“The last few weeks of pregnancy are the slowest. Your pelvis is on fire! Your hemorrhoids are raging. Your penguin waddle CLEARLY screams dilated-to-a-4! You whisper to yourself, ‘I’m going to be pregnant forever, aren’t I?’ But then, a stranger sent me a message.”
‘Your dad isn’t ready to give up the cuddles he’s getting in Heaven yet. He knows this baby will never know him. He wants to get to know baby as long as possible first.’
‘I looked in every bloodied towel, piece of clothing, and bathroom for a sign of a precious life to bury. I whispered to myself, ‘Why are you doing this?’ In a fog of confusion, I quietly sobbed.’
“I waddled up the driveway with the sheer terror of dropping my insides out on the rocks and cement. My husband was pale and quiet as he whispered he ‘had no idea.'”
‘I wasn’t even near him,’ actually means, ‘I was standing directly in front of him trying to touch his eyeballs with my eyeballs.’ You will learn to like Blippi. Because YouTube will show you other videos that are SO MUCH WORSE, HOLY CRAP.’
“Our babysitter is expecting her first. I thought about stuff I want to tell her in preparation for motherhood. And then I got home and unloaded 17 bags of groceries that somehow did not include the ONLY two items I specifically needed. Probably should warn preggo about that.”
‘From the bathroom all he heard was, ‘BABE?!’ Just 2 weeks after meeting the birth mom, we found out we were pregnant. I was actually mad. ‘God why NOW?’
“I had a missed call. My husband then got a call. We looked at each other… ‘Answer it!’ ‘Louis, are you with Audrey?’ ‘Yes, she can hear you.’ The words she spoke stopped time for me. Everything she said next was hard to process. I was shocked.”
‘HOLY SH*T, we finally did it!’ Wife surprises husband with shocking baby announcement after 3 years of infertility
“She explained it would be extremely hard for me to become pregnant. I broke down in that cold exam room. The only thing in my head was, ‘I can’t have kids. I can’t be a woman for this amazing man who is counting on me.’”
‘I had a message from a friend who is expecting her first baby, asking how things are going with our newborn. I almost wrote back a quick, ‘It’s wonderful!’ Then I didn’t.’
“When we took the childbirth prep class, I scoffed to my husband when the nurse said maternity leave is a necessity, not a luxury, because new moms spend at least 8 hours a day nursing their baby. ‘Yeah right,’ I said.”
My Husband’s Many (Many) Women
“It’s important for you to know…. my husband is a good man. A good, quiet, solid man of simple tastes and pleasures. And yet, somehow, he has managed to love an incredible number and variety of women both before and during our marriage.”
