family time

‘Heaven forbid we decide to play hooky to visit Santa before our holiday break officially begins.’: Witty mom admits parenting isn’t at all what she imagined, ‘We haven’t breached the truancy threshold just yet’

“I imagined sipping Arnold Palmers on the deck, casually thumbed through the newspaper we would obviously be mature enough to have delivered by then. What I did NOT imagine was me at 5:14 a.m., shushing children from my bedroom, shouting, ‘IN THIS FAMILY, CHILDREN DO NOT GET UP BEFORE 6!’ and shoving a small corner of my pillowcase in my ear. I think we can all agree that raising children isn’t exactly how we pictured it.”

‘HOW OLD ARE YOU?’ The man yelled. ‘Five,’ the boy mumbled. ‘THEN ACT LIKE IT,’ he growled.’: Mom appalled by father’s rude behavior at Disney World, ‘I was livid. Kids are freaking kids’

“His father walked up to the ramp and yelled his name. It surprised me. The kid was legitimately 4 feet away. This was all for dramatic effect, and it worked. ‘Cade, get your butt over here! HOW OLD ARE YOU?!’ My son and daughter froze in place, thinking they were in trouble, also. I didn’t know how to respond.”

‘Hand them over.’ I asked her why. ‘You-guys-are-on-them-too-much.’ Say what? Us guys? Us?’: Mom stunned when 16-year-old ‘budding Instagram model’ daughter insists on no screen time at dinner

“My 16-year-old daughter pointed to each of us. She put out her hand, palm up. No lie, I was confused. Why did she have her hand out? Did she want a high-five? Was she looking for money? There had to be something wrong. She placed them on the table, screen down, and then made eye contact with us. I mean, ACTUAL eye contact. I stared at her, hanging onto every-single-word.”

‘We’re going to get out of here, I need you to be brave. You can do this, I’m right here.’: Family tragically loses house in fire, adopts minimalists lifestyle

“My husband left for work. I was washing bedding and changing diapers. I was worried about the power bill, so I spread all the blankets out across the giant banister in our early 1900s home. I had done this dozens of times. I went upstairs to check on the boys, heard the laundry chime, and went to switch it. Opening the door, I immediately saw flames and smoke climbing the stairs. I quickly realized, we were trapped.”

‘Why we are doing NOTHING this summer.’

“I had big plans to be a ‘good mom’ this summer. There were going to be chore charts, reading goals, daily letter writing practice, and cursive classes.”

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