“‘Do I need to start calling my beautiful little girl my son?’ First, while crying, I sent an admittedly angry reply back. Then I went back inside, dried my eyes, and woke her up. I knew my daughter was ‘different’ for a long time.”
‘What did you do to my child?! She’s telling me she’s our SON.’ That was the angry text I got from my ex-wife.’
‘My dad hates me,’ the girl whispered in my ear with a sullen look on her face. It was one of the first hugs I gave.’
“An hour later, a girl pointed to my shirt. ‘Hey, free dad hugs!’ The look on her face said everything I needed to know. She hugged me as if she hadn’t seen me in years. She walked away in tears, without ever saying a word. I’m nobody special. I’m just a regular dad.”
‘Your grandson looked around the table and announced he was going to take over your job. ‘What do you mean?’ I asked him. He smirked. You’d be so proud.’
“I catch a glimpse of you when I look at myself in the mirror. It takes my breath away at first. You died six weeks too soon.”
‘I stumbled upon an old hard drive. The only photos to be found of my husband were on a park bench or in bed. He couldn’t even drive the children or stay alone with them anymore.’
“Duties that were once his, were now solely mine. I struggled to keep a 6-week and 2-year old alive. All I saw was a father tagging along, bringing much less value to his family than he once did before.”
‘My husband bungee corded my kid to the backseat. Not kidding. She was 3 years old. I honestly didn’t believe it. But there she was, strapped in a makeshift five-point harness.’
“He let me sleep in. Imagine my shock waking up at 10 a.m. to not a sound in the world. Not the pitter patter of little feet, not the tugging of my sheets followed by, ‘mom, mom, mom,’ not the sounds of cartoons. I yawned, threw my hair into a messy bun and made my way downstairs thinking I would find an empty house or sleeping angel children. I didn’t find that.”
‘I don’t have a mother.’ ‘Baby, everyone has a mother.’ ‘When you were born, your birth mother asked if WE could be your daddy and papa!’ She searched for people to love you with all their heart.’
“A few more days went by and we figured we had finished that conversation until she asked the heaviest question of all, ‘Who is my birth mother?’ We looked at each other and quickly changed the subject.”
‘I know you know something has happened. I am so sorry you have to feel this pain. I am so sorry daddy died.’
“I wish I could right the horrible wrong that was done. I see you look at that perfect picture of daddy. I wish I could tell you he was coming back home. But my dear son, he is not.”
‘Nobody dreams of being a single, middle-aged dad swiping on Tinder. When I entered Single Parent Land, half my brain was sobbing. The other half was thinking, ‘I can run free!’
“As a single parent, every decision takes on a new meaning. If I give my child an applesauce pouch made in China, will my ex bring it up in court? But back to the easy stuff. Remember naps? You know, those times when you could sleep in on a weekend without your ex coming in and yelling at you? There’s a silver lining in all this.”
‘You were sending me strange text messages. I returned home to you acting even stranger. The paranoia set in. You accused me of infidelity. I did not recognize this man screaming at me.’
“I got the boys from school. We went straight home. I could feel your presence had been there. I went into your closet and your guns were missing. Two hours later, there was a knock on our door. I looked out the peep hole and there was a man dressed nicely with a manila envelope.”
‘We have 2 biological and 9 adopted kids, and all 11 are completely ours. We can now say we have 5 baby-daddies.’
“My wife tried to get me on board, but my answer was always, ‘There’s no way. Are you trying to KILL me?’ Finally, she mentioned a sibling group of 4. FOUR?!?! REALLY?!?! ‘Is this your way of telling me you want a divorce?! Because it CAN NOT happen!,’ I declared.”
