“I thought happiness could be measured by my achievements. I pushed to get good grades in school, to get a high-paying job. But after all of it, I still wasn’t happy. My excuse was always, ‘I’ll be relaxed and enjoy my life only after [x]. I’ll do that after I achieve [x].’ I always had something to pursue. I was never good enough for my own love, or anyone else’s.”
‘I could never enjoy date night with my husband. Guilt was always there to haunt me, to blame me for being relaxed and lazy.’: Woman learns to accept her ‘imperfect life,’ says today is ‘the perfect time to feel happy’
‘Oh wow, my thighs look huge in these jeans. After you have an eating disorder, they say you’ll never be normal again.’
“The next five minutes I spent trying to change the illusion of what I had just seen, pulling up the waist of my dark jeans a little higher, smoothing out the denim hoping that may give the twins a slimmer appearance. I pulled on the hem of my sweater a bit, pulling it down a little further than the widest part of my thighs, hoping once again to give a thinner illusion.”
‘On the night of our honeymoon, I saw the DARKER side of my husband. My heart was beating out of my chest. He crouched down and whispered in my ear, ‘You… are NOT going to tell me what to do.’ I felt instant regret.’
“I went to my bedroom and packed everything as fast as I could. My phone pinged. ‘You’ve got 1 new voicemail!”
‘You were the product of a one-night stand,’ my mother said. Something in her voice let me know I couldn’t trust her. She let me go on a wild goose chase when she knew the truth all along.’
“Switched at birth. I lost my family, my identity, and even my last name. I didn’t know who I was anymore. When I was a bit older, both of my parents sat me down to tell me the truth.”
‘I was the ‘fat kid’ and my father was disgusted with me. Fat people were never the heroes or love interests. My mind became a very dark place.’
“I didn’t realize I was ‘the fat kid’ until 5th grade when a classmate so helpfully pointed it out to me. That’s when my carefree childhood ended. I started to find my way in the world. However, I was still plagued by my negative body image. My solution? Find a man to validate me.”
