first time mom

I Gave Birth To Twins, And Both Have Autism

“I started noticing red flags. The pediatrician reassured me, ‘They’re twins, it’s expected! They just take longer to learn skills.’ I took my concerns to Google, and all the ‘bad things’ and ‘never will be able’ sentences popped up.”

‘They all said I would be so happy. I wanted to be happy, but I also wanted a sandwich.’: Mom says post-birth ‘I definitely loved her, I just wasn’t sure I was IN love with her’

“What kind of horrible person am I? I was begging my husband to just get me out of there! ‘It’s going to be a joy like you’ve never felt.’ Instead I was frozen with fear. I was hemorrhaging. I was still searching her face for the joy I was supposed to be feeling. I felt guilty and ashamed.”

‘The nurse kept asking, ‘Are you ready to take her off life support?’ She knelt down with her stethoscope and confirmed she was gone.’: Mom loses 3 babies to kidney disease, ‘We love harder and hug tighter’

“My entire future was dark. How was I going to keep living when my baby died? We were always waiting to find out if our baby would die and now we were waiting to find out if we’d have a baby that would live. That moment was when the world stood still. We were pregnant for the fourth time.”

‘You’re not special enough to be my girlfriend.’ I cried. He was embarrassed by my prosthetics.’: Amputee learns to own her uniqueness, ‘My life isn’t normal, but I wouldn’t have it any other way’

“The technician noticed something wrong with my legs. They were shaped like a boomerang. I only had 3 toes on each foot. My feet were turned inwards and pointed down, and my ankles couldn’t rotate. The doctors gave my parents a choice: ‘Amputate her legs or never let her walk.’ When I got pregnant, I wasn’t physically prepared for what was to come. I had no idea how it would affect my body, let alone my prosthetics. I was terrified.”

‘Is she breathing right now?’ She was limp, almost lifeless. I watched in fear as they loaded my tiny 1-month old baby girl into the ambulance.’: Baby is born with rare chromosomal deletion, ‘We basically won the lottery with her.’

“Hattie had been born with a significant deletion of her first chromosome. We had no idea what this all meant. Hattie was one in a billion. We received a plethora of mail. ‘Dear parent or guardian of a child with special needs.’ Special needs? Hattie doesn’t have special needs, does she? As far as we knew, Hattie seemed completely normal to us! We have learned to avoid the CAN’Ts and focus on all the CANs.”

‘When are you going to try again?’ I was still unable to wipe after going to the bathroom. My baby was being reduced to nothing but a ‘try.’: Couple births second daughter one year after first is stillborn, ‘I already WAS a mother’

“As my belly grew, I began being asked the ‘Is this your first?’ question by anyone, from the cashier at Target to the waitress while out for dinner. My answer was, ‘No, this is my second. My first child died.’ You could tell by the uncomfortable look on their faces that my response was always unexpected, met with pity and also toxic positivity. I already WAS a mother.”

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