flushed

‘You’d look like me, I was sure. Curly blonde hair, blue eyes, chubby cheeks. I was lucky.’: Mom pens emotional tribute to daughter she miscarried, ‘I needed to lose you to find me’

“I flushed with my eyes sealed shut. I cried more tears than I knew possible. ‘I’m so sorry,’ I said. What kind of mother flushes her baby? I hoped I was wrong. I hoped you were still there. But I knew. A mother always knows. Everyone kept apologizing. I didn’t know why because it wasn’t their fault. It was mine. I had one job, to protect you, and I couldn’t even do that.”

‘I stood hand poised over the silver handle saying my silent goodbye, wondering if I should wake my husband. The first time I flushed was in the bathroom of my old apartment.’: Woman recounts traumatic miscarriage

“Just 3 days before, I had been standing on that same linoleum floor staring at two blue lines. Six months later, I flushed again. I did it alone. I am done worrying what others will think. All I can do is hope that those who turn away, never have to make the same decision I did.”

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