“I was at the grocery store today with my kids when I said a little too loudly, NOT in my mom voice, ‘I love you, but you’re REALLY annoying me.’ A young couple walked by, with no kids. ‘Well, that was brutally honest.’ I was judgingly told I’d miss this part of motherhood. I promise, I won’t. And it’s totally OK to tell your kids they’re being annoying when you’ve broken up 19 fights before you even got to the store.”
‘They grow up fast. You’ll miss this someday.’ REALLY? I’m going to miss being tortured by my 2 kids wrestling like bear cubs in a grocery store?’: Mom says it’s okay to ‘not love every part of motherhood,’ admits her kids can be ‘brutally annoying’
‘Our son spotted an older man wearing a hat. ‘Retired US Air Force’ was in bold. ‘May I thank him for his service, mama?’ I cried when we sat down. I was exhausted and overwhelmed.’
“‘Of course, honey.’ I smiled to him, stuffing down my feelings of wanting to explode. He smiled and thanked the man, who shook his hand and smiled back. Then, as we asked our waiter to take our bill, he said it was taken care of. Paid for. In full.”
‘He said, ‘You can look like a wholesome American beauty, or you can look weird and androgynous. We want to wipe all of the wholesomeness out of you.’
“I started counting every calorie, I ignored my hunger, and I’d work out without eating much or anything after. I’d weigh myself whenever I could sneak into my parent’s bathroom. The scale dictated my happiness, the size of my clothes measured my worth. Hopefully I can sustain this starving myself thing for the next ten-ish years, I’d think to myself.”
‘My daughter was fed a cashew. She had itchy ears within 5 minutes, but was still playing. It all changed moments later. They laid her down quickly, and she started blacking out.’
“It snuck up on us so unexpectedly and quietly. I expected to see choking, gasping, hear wheezing, see her grabbing at her chest and neck area. It was actually very silent.”
‘It’s ok Ma’am. I got you.’ I ordered my food but as I went to pay, I realized I had left my wallet at work. I told this young man to cancel my order. His response shocked me.’
“He didn’t know how tired I was or that I hadn’t eaten.”
‘I hid my habits. On the way to visit my boyfriend, I’d down a burger in my car, hide the evidence, then go to dinner a few hours later like a proper lady. Salad only, please.’
“When I moved, all the women looked like movie stars. Blonde with bountiful boobs, thin waists, and faces full of makeup. I went for a haircut and told the stylist I felt so out of place; I’d never be able to compete with these women. He stopped his snipping just long enough to say, ‘Sure you will. If you’re willing to pay enough.’”
‘I was standing in line. An older gentleman said, ‘Why are you wearing that rainbow shirt? Are you some sort of fa***t?’
“This man then goes on to mumble homophobic slurs to me, the whole time I’m waiting in line. I ignore him, pay for my food, and start to walk away. I then notice his card gets declined.”
‘When I was young, I would’ve seen these tweezers and thought, ‘They are cute. I’m going to buy them just because.’ As an adult, I’m buying them because I caught a glimpse of a chin hair.”
“Getting older is fun, kids. You can do whatever you want, when you want, like scrub toilets and pay bills and fold laundry on Friday nights like a boss.”
‘We had a family movie night. Well, let me take that back. My family had a movie night, while I sat on the floor trying to match the right lids to the right markers and put books back into bins.’
“Then I got up and made brownies, because I felt like brownies would make my family happy. Then I did the dishes because, well, I felt like I needed to do the dishes. Then I served everyone the brownies. Then I waited and collected their dirty brownie dishes.”
‘I got a call from a reporter asking about my ‘Autistic kid’ today. Honestly, I made the same word choices before I had her. It used to make me angry.’
“Audrey isn’t an Autistic kid. Audrey HAS Autism. Autism shouldn’t be an adjective. It’s a noun. It’s a medical diagnosis. It is not the defining descriptor of my child.”
