“My 6-year-old plays Fortnite all day. My kids could sleep with a tablet in their bed and I wouldn’t give a flying hoot anymore, as long as they’re quiet. I’ve let the boys wrestle like they’re in a cage fight, right in front of me, and I haven’t done a thing. My selective hearing has really improved.”

This Mom’s List of Pandemic ‘Parenting Fails’ Is So Relatable

‘I’m leaving for college soon. I wanted to make my little brother smile while I still can.’: Big brother’s ‘goofy joke’ reminds us to ‘make every moment count’ with our siblings
“I’m starting senior year of high school and my schedule allows me to get home before my little brother Max. One day, I ran to my room and threw together the most embarrassing outfit I could find. When Max got off the bus, he was very confused and embarrassed, which means my plan worked. I decided to do it again the next day, and the next. Soon, people started donating costumes and he began to really enjoy it. As an older brother, it’s all I could’ve hoped for. A smile on his face.”

‘I LOVE MY IPAD, MOMMY. I HATE YOU!’ My beautiful child was ugly crying, swinging arms, red faced. He threw his belly to the ground. ‘WHY MOMMY?!’ All hell broke loose.’
“His little body leaped off the ground and dove for the iPad in my lap. In between hiccups, coughs, deep gasps, he said, ‘MOMMY… I… NEED… IT.’ I replied a stern, ‘No, baby. You do NOT need it.’ Then, mommy did the unthinkable. ‘We’re going on an adventure.'”

‘Predators go where the prey is, and unfortunately, they see our CHILDREN as that prey. A paycheck. An opportunity.’
“Predators take advantage of a moment a child is mad at their parents, and builds a wedge between them. Predators are patient. Children from our own communities are being plucked away from innocence and safety. This is more likely to happen from a false relationship online, than being randomly kidnapped.”

‘I’ve birthed an entire child in the time it takes my husband to poop. Actually, I’ve done it faster!’: Wife hilariously calls out husband for his long bathroom trips to ‘avoid hemorrhoids’
“Not only did I accomplish this amazing feat faster than he can, I did it while people WATCHED. This achievement was done with bright lights shining down there to illuminate my lady bits. My husband? He gets to hide in a secluded bathroom. He dies inside when a child even knocks on the door.”

‘Today I took your phones away, to offer you a gift my dear ones… the gift of freedom.’
“I want you to know what it is like to live free… moving through your day not having to worry about what you are missing, about where your phone is, about what is happening in Fortnite.’