“We sat in the courtroom and listened to the story of lives that had been destroyed. We watched as the judge decided our son could no longer live with his biological parents. I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t relieved. I struggled with feeling I wasn’t enough for these two babies 15 months apart. I believed the lie.”
‘I vividly remember. My right arm held the new baby I birthed less than 24-hours ago. My left held my foster son, patting his new sister on the foot. I felt so much joy and so much pain.’
‘I still remember the text I sent my husband. ‘Do you want TWO babies?’ Boy, girl, black, biracial, a year apart, biologically shared one parent. My voice trailed off.’
“When I saw my son-to-be’s date of birth, I choked back tears. To understand why, I need to rewind. My husband was feeling run down. It was sudden and pronounced fatigue, odd for an avid cyclist. At 32 years old, he was fit. We both shrugged it off. I promised our kids we wouldn’t be gone long.”
‘I immediately began to hyperventilate. ‘Mrs. Ramsammy, we’ve got two brothers in need of a home tonight. They are 4 months and 15 months. Are you able to take them?’
“She told me their names, and I gasped and yelled, ‘You’re kidding right??’ Probably not a response she was expecting. Like what are the chances of that??”
‘He was cute, and I was curious. When I read the message, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. ‘NO REAL MAN IS GOING TO WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO DOES THIS.’
“I started believing the lies. I had no business online dating – it was for people who have more freedom as a single person. I mean, I have a minivan! A minivan doesn’t exactly scream, ‘I’m dating material here,’ you know? What guy would want me?”
‘Can you come to the hospital right now to meet your daughter?’ It was relatively late on a Friday night, but we immediately recognized the number. We fought hard for Grace.’
“Less than 45 minutes after that call, directly from the hospital, she came home for the first time. It felt a bit chaotic and strange at the same time.”
‘I cornered her. How was it possible someone so inexperienced could walk into a hospital and leave with another person’s baby? The little booklet read, ‘Your New Baby: An Instruction Manual.’
“He’d made so much progress that school year, and I knew being forced to leave his school would make things even more difficult for him if he was removed from his home.”
‘Momma, can you please call the judge? He’s moving too slow. Does he know I need you to be my momma? I’ll tell him. I need to be adopted. I can’t wait anymore.’ My boys waited 3 long years.’
“We started making visits with his siblings. This one forever changed my life. I felt a little tug on my shirt. He said, ‘Are you Jeremy’s mom?’ I said, ‘Yeah buddy, I am.’ And then his crushing response was, ‘Will you be my mom too?’ I cried. I hugged him. I was speechless.”
‘I watched my dad get taken by the police. I was playing in the neighbor’s yard. The officers crept up MY DRIVEWAY. I I hugged onto his legs, begging him not to go.’
“When asked about my parents, I’d lie. My go-to story was, ‘My parents work out of state, that’s why they can’t be here.’ How could I tell these kids the truth? How does a 3rd grader explain the hell they’ve been through?”
‘Our daughter has been placed in protective custody,’ my husband said. ‘We will deal with that later,’ I remember replying. Because first, I needed to get high.’
“During a routine traffic stop, my 3-year-old daughter sat unknowingly in the back – so innocent. She cried as I was taken away in handcuffs. I find out I’m pregnant. I’m deep into my addiction – 95 pounds and shooting heroin multiples times a day. I tell my OBGYN. This was a rock bottom plea for help.”
‘I called my dad. I was afraid to tell him. ‘WHAT DID I JUST SIGN MYSELF UP FOR?’ I made a mistake saying I could foster by myself. What was I thinking?’
“I was at the gym when I got the call. He was a biracial 14-month-old boy. ‘He can’t walk or talk. Are you interested in taking him in?’ I could have easily said no. About 45 minutes later, the investigator dropped him off at my house. Neither of us knew we had just met our forever family.”
