“We had a 6-month-old baby and added an emotional 5-year-old to the mix. There were days where I felt like I was babysitting someone else’s kids. People told me I wouldn’t be able to love these children as my own. You come in expecting everything to fall into place. It doesn’t work like that. I had no idea what I was doing.”
‘When we were just about done with the foster process, I GOT PREGNANT. I peed on 14 sticks because I couldn’t believe it. We thought we were ready. I didn’t realize the roller coaster it’d be.’
‘I choked out, ‘So, their dad and I are no longer living together.’ 8 months into fostering two of the girls, and 2 months after saying ‘yes!’ to adopting, my children’s father and I separated.’
“We had 5 kids and had just celebrated 6 years of marriage. Our entire life crashed, the walls built with facades and fantasies. I was secretly dying inside. It was silent, painful. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be taking family photos without a husband, my children’s father.”
‘WHAT!? Going from no kids to 2 under 2 in 1 day?! What on earth were we getting ourselves into?! My husband and I looked at each other. ‘WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?’
“The docs were certain I had mono. I kept thinking to myself, ‘There’s no way this is happening again’. The next day I get an urgent call. The clinic frantically demanded for me to be at the hospital ASAP for an ultrasound. I literally laughed. ‘I’m not pregnant, you must have called the wrong patient.’”
‘I don’t have a mother.’ ‘Baby, everyone has a mother.’ ‘When you were born, your birth mother asked if WE could be your daddy and papa!’ She searched for people to love you with all their heart.’
“A few more days went by and we figured we had finished that conversation until she asked the heaviest question of all, ‘Who is my birth mother?’ We looked at each other and quickly changed the subject.”
‘We have 2 biological and 9 adopted kids, and all 11 are completely ours. We can now say we have 5 baby-daddies.’
“My wife tried to get me on board, but my answer was always, ‘There’s no way. Are you trying to KILL me?’ Finally, she mentioned a sibling group of 4. FOUR?!?! REALLY?!?! ‘Is this your way of telling me you want a divorce?! Because it CAN NOT happen!,’ I declared.”
‘At 10, I ran away to the bus station. ‘Which goes farthest?’ I had no shoes, one shirt. I needed to find a place where he could never find me. I knew if he got hold of me, my life would be over.’
“I ended up 300 miles away. I was homeless, living in survival mode. A year in, strangers approached me and said, ‘We want to take you to school.’ I said yes, not really sure what I was agreeing to. Little did I know they were going to change my life forever.”
‘She’s been promising her baby to 4 other families.’ We’d been scammed by our birth mother. Tears streaming, I hoped it was a bad dream. All I wanted was to be a mother.’
“At that same ultrasound, while holding the hand of another adoptive mother, she was texting me details of the visit and sex of the baby. She’d ‘panic’ and ask for more money so she wouldn’t change her mind and take him away from us. She knew all about me and my infertility. She knew exactly what she was doing.”
‘Their mom unexpectedly passed. My heart hurt for them, but inside I was glad she wouldn’t fight us for them anymore.’ Family fosters 2 teens who they ‘loved instantly’ despite troubled past
“We were looking into adoption. It was dicey. Their mom was doing JUST enough to make it seem like she was on track to get them home, but barely. And then we got the news. We didn’t think much of the warning signs.”
‘A 20-year-old suddenly appeared on our doorstep. He needed a family just as much as we needed him. His foster mom texted me, ‘I’m no longer able to provide care for him.’
“Joe had lived with a caring foster mother for the past 7 years. He has cognitive disabilities and required ongoing care, even though he was now an adult. I emailed friends, ‘I feel sad he is not with us.’ Less than an hour later, I got her text. We had less than a day to decide.”
‘She said, ‘That’s them. That’s my son’s parents. That’s who I’ve been looking for.’ And then, I told her you were pregnant.’
“Her entire demeanor changed. The pause felt like an eternity. There could be two ends to this. My hand flew to my mouth as a gasp of air escaped and a sob caught in my throat. Stunned.”
