“My daughter was 12 and I still wasn’t married. My hopes of having children dwindled away. Suddenly, the cutest little 3-month-old boy entered my life and instantly stole our hearts. ‘His aunt wants to adopt him.’ They dropped a bombshell on me. ‘I have been his mommy. Nobody else was there through the sleepless infant nights. It has been me all this time, loving him.’ I felt like my heart had been shattered.”
‘This boy is never going to be up for adoption. Don’t get too attached.’ It was too late. I was in love with him.’: Foster mom fights for her adoption journey, ‘This is what I waited for, prayed for’
‘Your little brother is being life flighted. I don’t know what happened, but it seems your father hurt him.’: Woman adopts sisters from foster care after father jailed for killing 5-year-old brother
“I was sitting at my desk when I received the call that destroyed my life. I hopped on a red-eye flight. 36 hours later, we were told, ‘He has no brain activity. He won’t survive without the assistance of machines.’ I never got to say goodbye, I never got to say how sorry I was. ‘The state has decided to place your sisters into emergency foster care.’ And just like that, my life changed. I went from being a single military mom to a 6-year-old, to pursuing adoption to become the legal mother of my own siblings.”
‘I knocked on the door. ‘I remember everything you did to me.’ We drove from California to Texas, just so I could look him in the eye and say it.’: Sexual assault survivor fosters 26 children, ‘I want to bring them hope’
“I remember my grandfather always calling my name, looking for me. While most kids were dreaming of graduating high school, I was piecing together horrific memories. I remembered the smell of the burnt orange carpet when I’d hide under the bed. I remembered the knick-knacks on the dresser I focused on to escape what was happening. Many people ask me, ‘Why in the world do you continue to do foster care when your own biological kids have left the nest?’ The answer is simple: I’m meant to love people through their pain.”
‘I cannot follow you anymore. You seem hellbent on being negative, on grieving a man you divorced.’ I was at the gym when I got the message from a woman I barely know.’: Woman insists by living her truth she’s ‘hellbent on being honest’
“‘Dear Natalie, I have followed you for years. I adore your boys. I love seeing your beautiful face when it is joyful. But I owe it to you to let you know, I cannot follow you anymore. You seem to be hellbent on being negative when you so clearly have so much to be happy about. I cannot have all of your constant negativity in my feed anymore.’ I was at the gym when I listened to the full 3-minute message left in my Instagram Direct Messages, from a woman I only knew through her comments.”
‘Are you her nanny?’ ‘Did you kidnap her?’ I had a mom call me her Au Pair at gymnastics. We get stared down.’: Single black mom adopts 2 white siblings, is constantly judged by strangers but urges, ‘Love goes beyond skin color’
“When I tell them I’m her mom, they reply with, ‘Ohhhh. She must look like her dad then.’ In line at stores, I get stared down. I say out loud to Elizabeth, ‘Mommy loves you!’ And she replies, ‘I love you mommy.’ That makes the people so confused. You can see their brain cells burning with confusion. Whenever she misbehaves in public, people stare so hard to see how the ‘nanny’ is going to handle it. Sometimes I say, ‘You can stop looking. I’m her mother.’ Then, I was notified she had a brother. I thought my family was complete, but I was wrong.”
‘My youngest was called the n-word in kindergarten. He’s been told his skin is the color of poop. Someone yelled a racial epithet at us from a truck.’: Adoptive mom addresses the ‘wide mouthed, gaping stares’ her mixed-race family gets from strangers
“Raising a child of a different race was overwhelming. I hate to even admit how I once accidentally shaved his toddler head bald before desperately seeking out a Black barber. But slowly, we learned what products worked on his skin and hair. We stepped out of our comfort zone. When I share how I have two 20-year-old’s and a 10-year-old, people ask if the 20-year-old’s are twins, or they comment on the age gap. I know my older two keep things from me. I worry about the safety of all three of them.”
‘On her 10th birthday, her belongings were jammed into trash bags, already waiting for her. She was yanked from her entire life, and thrust into a new one.’: Social worker candidly shares reality of foster care system
“We do not mean to devalue our kids. But we do it. Every single day. There are too many kids, too many broken families. But the thing is: it matters how you move them. It matters if it happens on their birthday, or if you forget a favorite stuffed animal in the shuffle. That nobody in their new home knows how they like their eggs, and there are no pictures on the walls but biological family. These things send a clear message: You’re invisible. You don’t matter. You’re a throwaway kid, now.”
‘Why didn’t you adopt your own kind?’ They’re African-American, I’m Italian, my husband is Filipino. My love for them is like no other.’: Couple adopt 5 children from foster care, ‘I wouldn’t have it any other way!’
“Something traumatic happened to one of the girls. The unwanted drama and heartache began. The social worker took us for a wild ride. She gave us an ultimatum. ‘If you don’t take the youngest sister back, I will take all 3 girls and place them in another home.’ I knew in my heart I couldn’t handle 6 children! One minute they needed to be adopted, and the next they were going home with their biological family.”
‘The smallest amount of saliva could drown him. 2 hours later, an angel of a nurse was handing me the tiniest little guy.’: Couple adopts 2 children with special needs making them parents of 5, ‘He has defied every odd and broken every barrier’
“It was my first blind date. We met at a park. He had a horrible outfit on. Green long-sleeve silk shirt, cut off jean shorts and boat shoes. He was bragging about his wild weekend. I was annoyed. 3 weeks after our first ‘date,’ I was hospitalized for an eating disorder. The first time he called I was in rehab. Our whirlwind romance began. We were engaged 6 months later and married 4 months after that, just after my 18th birthday. All I wanted was to be a mom and start a family.”
‘We have an emergency placement for a 3-week old baby boy.’ I stared at the baby who had been mine and cried in front of the social workers.’: Foster mom recalls pain of giving child back to his mother
“When little Rylan first showed up, I was so nervous. The moment I saw him, I felt attached to him. I was ready to be a mom. My heart grew for our baby too. I would sob every time I had to drop him off for visitation. The day he left was the hardest day of my life.”
