“‘Morning mama. It’s adoption day.’ Butterflies filled my stomach. The girls and I dolled ourselves up to reflect what was on the inside. Joy and beauty. We went to the courthouse. Then, my lawyer pulled me aside. There had been a miscommunication. My heart dropped.”
‘He looked me straight in the eye. ‘I’m sure you’re aware this is a FINAL decision. Once I sign off, you cannot change your mind.’ They’re a sibling group of 3, and 2 of them had special needs.’
‘As we stood in the doorway, I said, ‘Someday this will be our nursery!’ Then the foster care agency called. ‘A 4-year-old boy needs placement. His mom is having brain surgery.’
“He came into our lives, and the bedroom became his. He was delayed due to the neglect, but quickly loved to be snuggled. We thought he could stay. But that was not to be. Through our tears we hugged him and told him we loved him. Then, we buckled him into a car and watched it drive away.”
‘The director met us at our car. ‘Are you able to come meet mom? She would like to meet you both.’ We froze, not knowing what to do. We didn’t want to be rude.’
“I fell instantly in love with the beautiful little bundle laying in the bassinet. His brown buttery skin, his dark hair, his squishy lips and cheeks. ‘Would you like to hold him?!’ He only had a diaper to his name that the hospital provided.”
‘Who should wear the mommy bracelet?,’ the nurse asked our birth mom. ‘Jessica. She’s her mommy.’ She placed the bracelet around my wrist, and handed me my daughter.’
“I wanted to be able to tell my daughter that she threw her head back when she laughed. How she dipped her fries in mayonnaise, but mostly how much she loved her. How she begged me to make sure my daughter always knew.”
‘Just miles away, my 3 oldest children were living their nightmare. They spent that year bouncing between 4 homes until our paths crossed.’
“I thought I would have more time before becoming an actual parent. My crew was uprooted yet again. We waited another two years for our case to have some progression.”
‘People assume they have us figured out. The un-ringed left hand, tattoos, a Mama with diverse children, no doubt living off the government.’
“If they only knew.”
‘I was 11-years-old when I woke up in a haze from surgery. My doctor said, ‘You can always make love, but you will never have children.’
“There was never any indication of the ticking time-bomb hiding in my body. My parents whispered words of encouragement into my ears, even though I had one foot on Earth and one in Heaven.”
‘The phone rings. You recognize the number. Each time it calls you feel a mixture of excitement and fear. Being a foster parent is strange.’
“You never shake the desire to want to help them all. Stepping into this world shows you things you only had heard about in the news. The victims of those new stories suddenly begin sleeping in your home.”
‘We are a blended family of 10. We have 8 kids: his, ours, and everyone else’s. Not bad for the woman who couldn’t have children!’
“Within a few weeks, without ever dating him, John asked me to marry him. I told him ‘yes,’ but he had to understand I was diagnosed at age 19 with cervical and uterine cancer and informed by my doctors I would never be able to give him children.”
‘To The Makers of Blue Bell Ice Cream: We have a suggestion for a new name for your chocolate and vanilla flavor’
“I challenged the kids to come up with a different name that could capture the intent of Blue Bell ice cream but would reflect the remarkable progress our country has made.”
