“I woke him early for the hour-long drive to the courthouse. He sat up at once, grabbing me in a tight hug, gushing, ‘Today’s the day!’ I know him well enough to note the look on his face, the slight undertone to his voice – he’s been in the system too long to believe in adoption until it occurs. The layers of trauma are thick, some abuse and tons of neglect. As the judge read out the declaration, I felt choked with emotion.”
‘I’ve wanted to be adopted all the time I’ve been in foster care. This is the best day of my life!’ I squeezed his hand. ‘It’s the best day of mine, too.’: Single dad adopts boy from foster care, ‘Love defines our family’
‘Are you her nanny?’ ‘Did you kidnap her?’ I had a mom call me her Au Pair at gymnastics. We get stared down.’: Single black mom adopts 2 white siblings, is constantly judged by strangers but urges, ‘Love goes beyond skin color’
“When I tell them I’m her mom, they reply with, ‘Ohhhh. She must look like her dad then.’ In line at stores, I get stared down. I say out loud to Elizabeth, ‘Mommy loves you!’ And she replies, ‘I love you mommy.’ That makes the people so confused. You can see their brain cells burning with confusion. Whenever she misbehaves in public, people stare so hard to see how the ‘nanny’ is going to handle it. Sometimes I say, ‘You can stop looking. I’m her mother.’ Then, I was notified she had a brother. I thought my family was complete, but I was wrong.”
‘My youngest was called the n-word in kindergarten. He’s been told his skin is the color of poop. Someone yelled a racial epithet at us from a truck.’: Adoptive mom addresses the ‘wide mouthed, gaping stares’ her mixed-race family gets from strangers
“Raising a child of a different race was overwhelming. I hate to even admit how I once accidentally shaved his toddler head bald before desperately seeking out a Black barber. But slowly, we learned what products worked on his skin and hair. We stepped out of our comfort zone. When I share how I have two 20-year-old’s and a 10-year-old, people ask if the 20-year-old’s are twins, or they comment on the age gap. I know my older two keep things from me. I worry about the safety of all three of them.”
‘I would NEVER drug my child.’ I was appalled. ‘Too much for me?!,’ I exclaimed. It was a nightmare that broke me.’: Foster mom’s children are removed after son gets into medication, ‘It felt like battle’
“My son climbed onto the counter and got into some medication. This launched an investigation of abuse on me. The state caseworkers were trying to prove I purposely overdosed my son because he was ‘just too much for me.’ ‘Too much for me?!,’ I exclaimed, ‘These kids are everything to me.’ They replied, ‘We believe you’re too stressed from a recent divorce. We need to make sure you are safe for your children.’ I felt the fire consume me. It was all so much.”
‘He was only 2-years-old. She was only 5-months-old. It was as if they knew. I never witnessed anything like it.’: 47-year-old mother fosters, then adopts siblings, celebrates ‘resiliency’ of children
“We received a call from a very desperate young man named Jonathan. ‘My wife is not properly caring for our 4-month-old son.’ He very was concerned about the welfare of his baby and convinced his wife to allow us to help. My husband and I are 47-years-old, we are sometimes mistaken as the grandparents. We know we probably won’t have an empty nest and that’s just fine with us.”
‘You’re my best friend!’ She cupped my face with her hands, and I was hooked.’: Single foster mom adopts daughter after ‘bump in the road’ delays finalization, ‘she is safe, she is loved, she is home’
“‘Would you be interested in adopting your foster daughter?’ For me, it wasn’t a question. The first day she walked into our house, she was home. Every day they would ask, ‘Is today our adoption day?’ But we then hit a bump in the road. I tried to keep my emotions in check. I can only describe Katherine’s journey as a roller coaster. But she is safe, she is loved, and she is home.”
‘Is he a drug baby?’ I heard the whispers. ‘You’re making a huge mistake.’: Southern woman adopts African American child in ‘little town known for racial divides,’ aims to break stigmas, ‘I want my children to be inclusive, kind’
“On a holiday weekend, we received a call. ‘A baby boy is in the hospital and needs a home.’ I was scared to say yes. Just 3 hours later, a car pulled in our driveway with a 6-pound, 3-day old, baby boy. Time stood still. She handed him to me with two Walmart bags of random items, some paperwork and wished us well. We had no idea what the future would hold. Everything about this decision looked crazy to most people – even us.”
‘Shut the hell up! Is this for real? Oh my Lord, I can’t believe this!’ I was screaming, trying not to hyperventilate.’: Couple adopts ‘angel’-faced daughter from young birth parents, ‘it was a sign’
“It was 4:55 pm. ‘I’m going upstairs to wait for her call,’ I told my family. I walked into my bedroom and flopped on my bed. My fears got the best of me. I couldn’t handle another heartbreak. There is no way we’d be chosen. How could we? We are older, we have 3 children. They wanted to help a childless couple. I laid in the fetal position in my bed, rocking back and forth, feeling nauseous. The phone rang. Was I hearing this correctly?”
‘Which bird is mine, mama? This one?’ My boys point to my tattoo. ‘But mom, who are THESE birds?’: Mom’s sentimental tattoo helps 3-year-old sons learn about ‘the babies in my tummy that died’
“‘They died? Why?’ Ira asked, concerned. ‘What happened?’ He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me. ‘Where they go? After they dead?’ ‘You know,’ I said tickling them, ‘You two are miracles. Our babies that didn’t make it out of my tummy alive are in Heaven.’ My boys would usually be distracted by now. ‘It has streets of GOLD. There is no crying, no sadness. No families are broken…we all live together. ‘We all live together there? Daddy too?’”
‘All done?’ she whispered in my ear. ‘No, sweet baby. This is just the beginning.’: Mom of 8 learns of daughter’s cancer diagnosis day after adoption finalized, husband leaves, ‘How was this my life?!’
“The very next day, our teeny little 21-month-old baby girl was diagnosed with leukemia. She was close to death. I watched the terror in her face as she was strapped down. She couldn’t see me, didn’t know I was right behind her. I wrapped her up in my arms. Another major bomb hit our family. My marriage fell apart. I was left single parenting. People say they could never do what I do, but I didn’t have a choice.”
