foster to adopt

‘They are ours forever,’ I told my husband as tears ran down my face. ‘We have twins. They’ve been moved due to limited beds.’ I read that text a million times. Our day had finally come.’

“I told my student I had to talk to his dad about his behavior. He turned around. ‘He is not my dad, he is my case worker. I don’t have a mom or dad. I am in foster care.’ I was shocked and speechless. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. During dinner, I had a conversation with my husband.”

‘Oh my Gosh, she’s a baby. ‘I’m saying yes,’ I typed to him in Afghanistan. ‘Say yes,’ he responded simultaneously. ‘We’ll take her!’ I nearly shouted into the phone.’

“‘Dad has to move to Colorado,’ I told our sons. ‘He doesn’t have a choice’ ‘We’re not leaving her, right?,’ Aidan interrupted, his tone laced with terror. ‘We can’t just leave her!’ His voice was sandpaper rough, speaking the words I couldn’t. ‘We…we might have to make a tough decision.’ ‘I know,’ I whispered.”

‘I vividly remember. My right arm held the new baby I birthed less than 24-hours ago. My left held my foster son, patting his new sister on the foot. I felt so much joy and so much pain.’

“We sat in the courtroom and listened to the story of lives that had been destroyed. We watched as the judge decided our son could no longer live with his biological parents. I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t relieved. I struggled with feeling I wasn’t enough for these two babies 15 months apart. I believed the lie.”

‘He looked me straight in the eye. ‘I’m sure you’re aware this is a FINAL decision. Once I sign off, you cannot change your mind.’ They’re a sibling group of 3, and 2 of them had special needs.’

“‘Morning mama. It’s adoption day.’ Butterflies filled my stomach. The girls and I dolled ourselves up to reflect what was on the inside. Joy and beauty. We went to the courthouse. Then, my lawyer pulled me aside. There had been a miscommunication. My heart dropped.”

‘Momma, can you please call the judge? He’s moving too slow. Does he know I need you to be my momma? I’ll tell him. I need to be adopted. I can’t wait anymore.’ My boys waited 3 long years.’

“We started making visits with his siblings. This one forever changed my life. I felt a little tug on my shirt. He said, ‘Are you Jeremy’s mom?’ I said, ‘Yeah buddy, I am.’ And then his crushing response was, ‘Will you be my mom too?’ I cried. I hugged him. I was speechless.”

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