“Freaking Karen. She’s always trying to get you to buy her essential oils. You’re so desperate to just have a coffee with them and for some screwed up reason, you’re really cool with that. I know what you’re thinking, but apparently it’s legal.”
‘Your boss is basically a jerk. ‘You could be working overnight without double-time or a toilet break.’: Mom hilariously compares raising a newborn to having a full-time job
‘OH MAH GAHD SON, don’t touch it! HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS?’ I’m ready to bleach everything in sight, including my son.’: Mom hilariously recounts Show and Tell gone wrong
“His eyes light up and he goes, ‘OOOOOH! Let me outside, Mommy. I know JUST THE THING!’ Now pause. This is where I tell you for the last three days, I’ve been complaining our porch smells horrible.”
‘I yelled, ‘Omg Logan, THERE’S POOP!’ My child was BATHING in his own poo while I read about dancing with the stars on my phone.’: Mom hilariously recounts bath time gone wrong
“When I heard Simon toot and laugh because it made more bubbles, I thought nothing of it. I decided to investigate deeper into whether Hannah B. and Alan would actually fall in love on Dancing with the Stars. As I’m pep talking him for the face wash, I see a brown object between the fading tub bubbles.”
‘Today my husband asked, ‘Why is there a pen in the fridge?’ I had no idea what he was talking about. ‘What kind of pen?’: Woman urges ‘we’re all losing your mind trying to keep it together’
“I’m tired of worrying. I’m tired of hearing about politics. I’m tired of trying to learn about coronavirus. I’m tired of the overwhelming amount of learning I need to do, almost daily, in order to keep up with what all is going on in the world right now. Y’all. I am tired. My tired is tired.”
‘To the kids who TP’d my house last night…THANK YOU. I’m excited to clean up the mess.’: Man has best reaction to neighborhood kids TPing home
“The trees are too bare, the roof has little to no paper, and you left half-rolls sitting on the ground. THIS IS SHODDY TP-ING WORK.”
‘I watched my husband come alive under the appreciation of another woman. Somewhere between the dirty laundry and dishes, I stopped laughing at his jokes.’: Woman says ‘your husband is funny, don’t forget to notice’
“When I was 22, he was the funniest man on earth. My cheeks hurt every time I was with him. Now, between the dirty laundry and pile of dishes, I could sprain my neck from how hard I roll my eyes in his direction. Every joke my husband tossed she caught with enthusiasm. He looked alive. His eyes were wide and his mouth was in a permanent grin.”
‘The other day I thought, ‘I miss hanging with my girls,’ while scrolling through photos. A light bulb went off.’: Woman’s hilarious solution after virus ruins ‘much needed girlfriend time’
“This weekend I had a Sunday Funday drive with my friends. My husband is kind enough to not ask questions.”
‘When the toddler had a pee accident during bedtime rush, you didn’t get frustrated. Instead you turned on weird music, and danced to make me laugh.’: Woman pens love letter to husband, ‘You are the light of our lives’
“You danced your way off to get some cleaner and a towel, and danced back in, and danced while you cleaned it up. Not all husbands and fathers bring joy home like that, like you do for us.”
‘Today I’m going to grill our favorite foods and make s’mores!’ The next day: ‘Go fix your own food. I’m not moving off this couch all day.’: Mom of 4 shares hilarious reality of quarantine
“It’s either, ‘Come sit in Momma’s lap and let’s read a book!’ or ‘Please don’t touch me. I feel claustrophobic.’ I’m probably the most bipolar stay-at-home mom right now. Poor kids never know which Momma they’re gonna get!”
‘Today I ran out of toilet paper. The dreaded day finally happened. I wobbled in, cheeks clenched, to find a barren brown tube.’: Mom shares hilarious story after running out of toilet paper, ‘Let’s find humor in the chaos’
“I scream for my husband, ‘DAVE. HELP!!! THERE’S NO MORE TOILET PAPER.’ He shoves in a random t-shirt from my drawer and a plastic trash bag. So, there I was. Going liquid. No TP. No time to prepare.”
