“My grandma passed away, and everything came crumbling down around me. I was alone. I needed him more than anything now. I needed his support, I needed him to hold me and listen to the speech I had prepared for her funeral. Instead, he did the exact opposite. ‘I need space,’ he said. SPACE?!”
‘You’re an angel,’ he said to me after a night of being told I was worthless. The sun started to shine through the window, it reeked of booze and I had yet to sleep. I wanted to be that ‘angel.’
‘Somehow, she still managed to pray for each one of her children and grandchildren, by name, every single night. The nurses were always stunned by this. But we never were.’
“My Memaw had a brain aneurysm that left her unable to live alone when I was 15, followed quickly by dementia. She didn’t always know who we were. Some days she talked. Some days she didn’t. Some days she had it together. And some day, well, some days were rough.”
‘It finally happened. I was introduced as her ‘new Grandma.’ My heart was so full. This is what I’d been missing for so long.’
“I thought, ‘Well, what the heck.’ A lovely young lady messaged me. Turns out, her girls needed a grandma in their lives just as much as I needed grandbabies to love. She has struggles she is unable to disclose to her own mom, so I have become her confidant. All I ever wanted to be is a good mom, and an even better Grandma.”
‘I noticed an elderly woman sitting alone. My exact thoughts were, ‘Dang, I’d hate to have to eat alone’. I walked over to her and asked if I could sit with her.’
“She told me she lost her husband and that tomorrow would have been their 60th anniversary.”
‘YOU CAN’T HAVE THAT, YOU’RE PREGNANT.’ ‘You cannot be serious. It’s one cup. It’s fine.’ Grandma is banshee screaming at this point.’
“‘NO YOU CAN’T HAVE IT YOU’RE PREGNANT IT WILL MAKE YOU HAVE THE BABY NOW YOU CAN’T DO IT I WON’T LET MY DAUGHTER DO IT EITHER BUT SHE DRINKS IT ANYWAY AND IF I CAN’T SAVE HER I’LL SAVE YOU INSTEAD.’ I don’t think she breathed during this at all. Also, what? Save me?”
‘This sweet lady called me for 3 months thinking I was her grandson. She finally figured out I wasn’t Barry. She always ends her calls with, ‘love you, later.’
“I had just found out my parents were getting divorced. I struggled with it a lot. Her unexpected, wrong calls helped me so much. When she realized it was my number and not her grandson’s, I wondered if I would ever hear from her again. Well, I finally got to meet her.”
‘GOODNIGHT. LOVE YOU.’ A faint ‘love you’ left my mom’s lips back to me. Little did I know when I turned to leave, those would be her final words.’
“My brother requested we not prolong the inevitable. My dad, not wanting to believe, broke at that moment, and our lives forever changed.”
‘The nurse said, ‘She’s going.’ She looked me right in the eyes as I brushed her hair. ‘It’s okay, Grandma. Go see Grandpa and the girls.’
“My dad got the phone call. ‘Get back here….NOW!’ She hugged me and said, ‘I love you, Tootsiebell.’”
‘Oh stop! She’s scared, leave her be.’ She knew I was not ready for this. I got in my car and had many missed calls from my dad. I called him back immediately, and heard the words that would change my life.’
“As soon as I hung up the phone, I knew. I sat in my car and cried. I cried tears I didn’t know I had. I couldn’t breathe. I had to call my husband to tell him I wasn’t sure I could drive home.”
‘We gave her a hard time. She frowned at us. Then said, ‘We’re doing it.’ Reluctantly we gathered around, goofing off and teasing the entire time. She stood right next to me.’
“Suddenly, I desperately needed to see her face again. I scrambled through boxes and boxes of family photos but she wasn’t in any of them.”