grieving

‘David and I have been pregnant 8 times. ‘I just took a pregnancy test. It’s positive.’ I sat on the toilet staring at the positive test until my legs went numb. This was not a part of our plan.’

“Despite the odds, the ‘treatment’ was unsuccessful. Our little fighter continued to grow. Something in my gut didn’t feel right about a second injection, so I refused. I pushed her to keep looking. ‘Wait, what’s that?’ The doctor turned back towards the screen. I saw our little baby for the first time. I instantly wept.”

‘Is it weird having one white twin and one black twin?’ They are POLAR OPPOSITES! She is fair-skinned with bright blue eyes. He is dark skinned with brown eyes and black hair.’

“Nurses didn’t know how to approach me. I got statements like, ‘I’ve been a nurse 23 years and have never worked with twins like them.’ People are shocked. When we’re out in public I get questions. ‘Are they adopted?’ ‘Are they twins?’ ‘Do they have the same father?’ It’s amazing.”

‘Please don’t blame yourself mom. I LOVE YOU! I’m now looking down on you. LOOK UP. I SEE YOU.’ These were the last words my son wrote the day he took his own life.’

“I received a frantic phone call. He asked me to come home immediately. He was standing in the driveway looking very frazzled. He asked me to hug him. I asked him what was wrong. ‘You know the one thing you told me never to do?’ I was confused. ‘What are you talking about Jordan, what have you done?'”

‘I was ABANDONED on my grandma’s front porch with a note that said, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ My own mother said those five words about me when I was only 8 months old.’

“I started dating a boy and, of course, I slept with him on our first date. Can you guess what happened next? Yes, we got pregnant. That’s when it happened. They pulled out this white stuff. ‘Hey, we are about to do this.’ I asked what ‘this’ was. ‘You don’t want any.’ In desperation, I told them I did.”

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