“Not long after arriving home, she got a phone call. It was the manager at Publix. ‘Is this Mrs. Hicks?,’ the manager asked. ‘Yes,’ she replied.”
‘He told her their surveillance cameras caught her leaving and spilling her groceries. She lost almost ALL her groceries, and didn’t realize it until she was home.’
‘I gave birth to my son while high on methamphetamine. I wish I could tell you I sobered up, but I did not. We were joined at the hip. We were both addicts, but wanted to be sober.’
“I was so afraid. I just knew CPS was going to take him, but a miracle happened. He was born completely clean. No drugs in his system. He was perfectly healthy. Neal and I cried and cried. We went home that following Monday and swore we would stay sober.”
‘She bagged all our groceries and told Isaac, ‘I love you.’ I don’t know how he knew how meaningful this would be to her, but somehow, he did.’
“Isaac made our day, just by taking his time with us. We’ve never met Isaac before, but as he watched Lilly approaching the bagging area, she started to get the first bag ready. I’ll never forget, he asked if she would like to help him.”
‘It was New Year’s Eve. Midnight came. Just like that, the love of my life was gone. I’ll never forget the look on her face. She gently patted me. ‘I love you.’ That was the last time I saw her as herself.’
“The next morning, I got a call. ‘She won’t answer the phone or come to the door.’ 25 nerve-wracking minutes later, we found her. I was standing at the head of the bed. I brushed her hair with one hand, her shoulder with the other. I wish I could tell you she looked peaceful, but she didn’t. She looked scared.”
‘He is a good son. We love you Jeff.’ I couldn’t stop sobbing. He went on, as if they both were standing next to his bed. His eyes were closed, but he had the most peaceful smile.’
“He was sleeping, when I heard him say something. I leaned in. As clear as can be, he started having a conversation with Mom and Jeff. Jeff is his son, who died 2 years ago. They were whole, healthy, and together once again. I was overwhelmed by what had just taken place.”
‘It’s not my job to make you happy. Sorry, buckaroo. You’re going to have to figure that one out on your own. I’ll make sure I am happy.’
“’You’ve screwed up again.’ You’ll be out of this house. And when that happens, there won’t be much we can do to make you happy anymore.”
‘Come on, Jenn, you can do this!’ We were going to be parents of not only one little baby, but twins. He was admitted to the hospital just three months before my due date.’
“Justin went to urgent care because his chest was hurting. I could tell by the look on his face that he had bad news to share with me. I remember being in my two-bedroom apartment sobbing uncontrollably and screaming at the top of my lungs.”
‘You’re 12 weeks along, but it looks like the baby hasn’t grown since the 8-week mark.’ I blurted out, ‘Oh, well that’s a bummer.’ I felt like monster.’
“It was hard for my husband to look at me. We had to call our family and tell them the news. They took it much harder than I did. All my mom wanted to do was hug me. It was very smothering.”
‘We found out we were pregnant at 17. We were scared. Soon after, we were having a second. I am so grateful for my ex. I never thought I would say those words. But here I am. So grateful for my ex.’
“We had the ‘million dollar’ family. A boy, a girl, and two high school sweethearts who got married and made it through teen pregnancy. But then, we started to lose the ‘spark.'”
‘This is not my year to run a marathon, drink 2 gallons of water a day, or make healthy, home-cooked meals. It is my year to survive.’
“This year, I’m laying it all down. I can’t. The truth is, I’m in the weeds. Some years aren’t meant to be record-breaking. Some years are meant to survive.”
