happy

‘I could never enjoy date night with my husband. Guilt was always there to haunt me, to blame me for being relaxed and lazy.’: Woman learns to accept her ‘imperfect life,’ says today is ‘the perfect time to feel happy’

“I thought happiness could be measured by my achievements. I pushed to get good grades in school, to get a high-paying job. But after all of it, I still wasn’t happy. My excuse was always, ‘I’ll be relaxed and enjoy my life only after [x]. I’ll do that after I achieve [x].’ I always had something to pursue. I was never good enough for my own love, or anyone else’s.”

‘I keep telling myself, ‘Today is the day.’ The day I get it together. Workout more, eat healthier. Serve less frozen foods. Then, week after week, I don’t.’ Woman explains self-care is more than a ‘bubble bath’ or ‘weekend out with the girls’

“We’d never want our children to run on empty. Put themselves last. So, what are YOU doing? Life isn’t meant to be a series of checklists and drive-bys. Stop trying to fill up everyone’s cup and take a look at your own. It’s empty, isn’t it? That’s not living, sister – that’s just going through the motions.”

‘I heard a cracking sound and a thud as my head hit the window. He threw the car into park. I’d ‘pushed his buttons’ and made him do it. He told me it was my fault.’ Woman recounts how ‘fairy tale’ quickly turned to abusive nightmare

“In slow motion, the scene still unspools in my head. ‘You loved me once,’ I croaked out, looking up at him. We had history. We had a home together. Failure was not an option. I clung to him, my heart believing if I just loved him enough, he’d emerge from the darkness.”

‘It was New Year’s Eve. Midnight came. Just like that, the love of my life was gone. I’ll never forget the look on her face. She gently patted me. ‘I love you.’ That was the last time I saw her as herself.’

“The next morning, I got a call. ‘She won’t answer the phone or come to the door.’ 25 nerve-wracking minutes later, we found her. I was standing at the head of the bed. I brushed her hair with one hand, her shoulder with the other. I wish I could tell you she looked peaceful, but she didn’t. She looked scared.”

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