heart defect

‘Mom she’s gone, I just know.’ I sat on my stairs with my front door open, in shock.’: How this ‘broken’ mother helps other parents of child loss heal after her own tragedy

“Seeing my sweet baby girl laying in a huge bed, much too big for her, made me fall to my knees. A nurse said to me, ‘Get off the floor, it’s so dirty.’ I was angry at her, I was angry at the hospital chaplain placing his eerie hand on my shoulder with no real comfort. No parent should have to write their child’s eulogy, or decide between a casket or an urn. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.”

‘Is he gone?!,’ I yelled. It wasn’t my husband. He was so excited to be a dad. He was born to be one. I held his hand, telling him how much his unborn son and I loved him.’

“Scott just started a new job. We bought a house and were moving. He started not feeling well, but we attributed it to the stress of everything changing in our life. He went to work after getting me settled in the hospital. When he came back, he looked pale. I told him to get some rest, I would be just fine.”

‘Either pregnancy is harder with age or we’re having twins.’ Our son with down syndrome had just battled multiple heart failures and a stroke. ‘Actually, there’s 3.’ Um, excuse me! What the heck?!?!’ Mom delivers baby with Down Syndrome & heart defects, gets surprised with triplets 1 year later

“We went silent until I could finally ask him how sure he was. ‘Beyond 100% certain. Triplets.’ I was in tears instantly. Our life felt like a TV show playing out in real-time. How can we handle triplets plus making sure we meet our son’s medical needs? How can I continue to work full time? Do we need a bigger car? House? How is this going to work?! Excitement quickly followed. We accepted the challenge.”

‘What does a baby’s heart look like at 18 weeks?’ I knew something was wrong. But Tad’s father continued to say, ‘Don’t worry until we have to.’ So I tried my best not to.’

“‘He is sitting Buddha style facing away from me, so I cannot not get a good look.’ I remember watching him confirm the gender, check fingers and toes, but kept going back. He told us ‘not to worry.’ I left that appointment wanting to share the great news of, ‘we’re having a baby boy,’ but it was a double-edged sword.”

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