“I had a nightmare. I was being taken to a home I didn’t recognize and into a room I had never been in before. I was in a wheelchair. My mom is telling me it will be OK. She is holding my hand, and I am crying. I tell her I want to go home, but she is telling me I am home. My heart aches for dad on the other side of the door, knowing he will lie there, waiting, for the next visit.”
‘It is never enough. You can see the loneliness in his eyes when he hugs us goodbye.’: Daughter’s ‘gut wrenching’ nightmare makes her realize just how lonely her elderly father is after wife’s death to dementia
‘My sweet boy, oh how I wish we could bring you home. I cannot fathom why you were too sweet for this world, and meant only for heaven. I yearn for the day to hold you again.’
“Little man, your home is a brick house in Missouri. There is a white dogwood and a rod iron fence in the front yard. You have two sisters who would dote and adore you. I imagine you would have been tormented with bows, jewelry and nail polish! I wish your home was with your family, rather than heaven.”
‘Can you wipe my eyes? Can you make my tears stop?’ We sat in silence as my 90-year-old father’s tears fell. He was going to be alone for the first time in 69 years.’
“He laid his head on her chest. He kissed her and he cried. He told her how much he loved her. He said he wouldn’t trade one day of his life with her. He said he would marry her all over again. He said he will see her soon, and to hold the door for him.”
‘There’s good news and there’s bad news,’ my dad told me. ‘The good news is they found out what’s wrong with Mom.’ I didn’t know how much longer I could hang on.’
“After 2 years of troubling behavior with my mom, and doctors assuring us there was nothing wrong, we finally had concrete answers. Dad’s voice caught in his throat and tears welled in his eyes. He said the word we most feared.”
‘He is a good son. We love you Jeff.’ I couldn’t stop sobbing. He went on, as if they both were standing next to his bed. His eyes were closed, but he had the most peaceful smile.’
“He was sleeping, when I heard him say something. I leaned in. As clear as can be, he started having a conversation with Mom and Jeff. Jeff is his son, who died 2 years ago. They were whole, healthy, and together once again. I was overwhelmed by what had just taken place.”
‘We have to tell her.’ The doctor left us to give the horrible news. I looked at Abby. ‘You know those bad headaches and vomiting you keep having?’ Abby looked at me. ‘Yes mom, they hurt.’
“‘Step out with me, we can talk in another room,’ the doctor said. I screamed, ‘No I don’t want to go, nothing is wrong with her!’ She tried to calm me down. ‘No no no no!’ I couldn’t breathe, my heart felt like it might burst.”
‘He said, ‘I know she can’t go home,’ and was quiet the rest of the ride. Dad couldn’t get his coat off fast enough. He sat beside her, so happy to see her, saying how much he loved her.’
“She was staring straight ahead. That didn’t matter to him. He was back with his Mary Jane. I noticed it was quiet. I look over and Dad is laying on her shoulder sobbing – not crying, sobbing. After my tears started, I went in their bathroom wanted to scream. So these are the golden years?”
‘I could hear the sirens. We ran up to see a stranger doing CPR on our perfect 20-month-old nephew. I could not believe what I was seeing. My husband dropped to his knees.’
“Royce had been playing on the bed when he fell. I grabbed and hugged my sister-in-law, trying to face her away from the horror. We were all in the worst kind of shock. This was not happening, not Royce. It could not be our perfect Royce.”
‘I wanted to scream, ‘WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME?!,’ but I didn’t have to wait long. At our two-month check up, our worst fears were confirmed.’
“Her right arm looked like a chicken wing. Her other arm started to hang limp. It was rotated inward, as if it were dislocated.”
‘We talked about meeting all year. So many feelings were running through me. In a perfect world, they could have both been saved, but that isn’t our story.’
“It was different with them — almost as if he’s known them for ages. We would give anything to have our baby back.”
