“I have a toddler at home who I will not be able to take to get his picture with Santa. I will not be able to take him to see all the pretty Christmas lights. I sat in the shower and let the water run down my body as I cried. Then demons creep in. ‘It was boring getting high at home, taking care of a toddler all day. It would be fun to stay at a motel and just get high. I just want to do it ONE MORE TIME.’ I’m riddled with guilt. I’m so ashamed.”
‘I could’ve killed myself, or my precious son. I’m riddled with guilt. I’m so ashamed of things I’ve done in front of my child.’: Mother in the throes of addiction, ‘I don’t want to do it anymore. I want my son to have a sober mom’
‘FREEZE. DON’T MOVE,’ I whispered. This was it. He knew I was escaping. The music stopped. ‘Run, run now!’: Woman escapes abusive relationship, re-marries, ‘I am now loving every waking moment on earth’
“I needed someone to tell in case I went ‘missing.’ Our house was in the middle of a hill, covered by woods. ‘Mom, please come.’ With the highest anxiety I’d ever felt in my life, I slowly closed the door. This was it. My goodbye after 13 years. My kids smiled in the backseat, oblivious. ‘Go!’ I turned off my location and watched in the mirror as we drove away.”
‘Gunner went out with friends Friday night. They came back and stayed up playing video games, like most 19-year-olds do. At some point, Gunner, and his friend, took a pill.’
“He has no history of drug use, has never been a ‘problem child’, was a star athlete, wonderful son and was extremely loved in his community. We don’t know why he decided to take ‘a pill’ that night. Both boys died immediately.”
‘I begged my husband to come back, but he was done. He took sole custody of the kids.’: Mom’s journey to heal her family after struggling with addiction
“I drove high with my kids in the car. He packed up, took the kids and left. I was devastated. My marriage was over, and I wasn’t expecting to get my husband back, but I desperately wanted a relationship with my children. The only thing that stopped me from committing suicide was because it was my daughter’s 5th birthday the next week. I didn’t want my death hanging over that date.”
‘Hi Mom, I’m home. Wake me up for school at 9, ok? I love you.’ I looked right at him, ‘I love you, too. Get some sleep, it’s late.’: Mom loses 26-year-old son to heroin-laced joint, says she’ll ‘always carry him in her heart’
“He was very upset and put his hand on my shoulder. ‘Mom, I would never do that to you or dad. I love this family way too much. I love you, mom.’ I looked straight in his eyes and thanked him, and I truly believed him. I still do till this day. He was home, safe, planning for school the next day. When I went to wake him for school, I knew he was gone the moment I saw him.”
‘If you are not the parent of a heroin addict — you are lucky. Say a prayer and stop judging.’
“I felt his words in the pit of my stomach. ‘Mom, I need help.'”
‘Dear Dad, that was shocking what you did. Please can you get help? I’m sorry drugs did that to you, but never do it again. I really miss the old you.’
“I remember sitting in that jail cell crying my eyes out, thinking my daughter, who was 9 at the time, would be in her 20’s before I saw her again. That was my true rock bottom. I can’t even begin to describe to you the utter defeat and sadness I felt that day.”
‘His mommy overdosed on heroin just feet away from him as he slept soundly in her bed.’: Mom adopts baby brother after father passes, surprised to learn he was born addicted
“I knew he was horrified by what happened and I didn’t care to belittle him or press the issue. What was done was done. At least that’s what I thought.”
‘My heroin addict.’: Mom reminds us ‘every addict is someone’s child’
“I’m not sure who people picture when they think of heroin addicts, so, I’d like to introduce you to mine.”
