“My phone rang while I was asleep. It was my doctor on the other end. ‘Your testing came back positive for Trisomy 21. I’m sorry.’ I started ugly crying. ‘How on Earth could this happen to me?!’ At 36 weeks pregnant, I noticed the baby hadn’t been moving. I did all the things I knew I needed to do. I ate, drank, lay down on my side. Still, I didn’t feel anything. I called the nurse. ‘Come in right away.’ I drove so fast. She hooked me up to monitors. I knew immediately my baby was in trouble. She was in distress.”
‘How could this happen?!’ I found myself unexpectedly pregnant at 40. Then the doctor said, ‘Syndrome.’ I held back tears.’: Mom births baby with down syndrome, ‘The minute I saw her sweet little head red hair, I fell in love’
‘Here buddy, I can help you down.’ The man I’d tried to wave around us couldn’t hold it in any longer. He was obviously annoyed.’: Mom urges importance of teaching kids lessons by letting them do things on their own
“I met his eyes and told him nicely, ‘He doesn’t need help, he needs time to problem solve. Why don’t you go around us? We may take a minute and I don’t want to hold you up.’ He mumbled something, obviously annoyed that I didn’t just hoist the kid down myself. I was standing there to guard against danger.”
‘I’m sorry. The adoption is over.’ He was being placed in foster care. I had this feeling, this wasn’t the end.’: Couple hikes the globe with kids after nearly failed adoption of ‘beautiful little boy’
“‘A lot has happened over the weekend. The birth mom had her baby on Friday night,’ the caseworker said. ‘Do you still want to go through with the adoption since he was born premature?’ That question absolutely baffled me. This baby boy was being placed in the foster care system.”
‘I found myself gasping for air. It did not matter how much I tried to breathe in, it felt as if nothing was going inside my lungs. A few days later I developed a bit of a cough. I could have died while on the mountain.’
“It took nearly 2 days before a helicopter arrived. 2 days of freaking out in subzero temperatures. I spent the entire time in a room where various people would pop their head in to make sure I was still alive.”
‘The tree crushed the roof of the car. My head compressed. My spine burst. I don’t remember it. I woke up thinking it was a nightmare. ‘There’s no way I could still be alive,’ I told myself.’
“Life has changed. The depth of loss I face daily. But everyday I am faced with a choice. Will I choose to survive today or will I choose to thrive? No matter the lemons or curveballs, the choice is mine.”
‘I asked to borrow his Walkman. ‘Sure, if you let me touch you.’ My brother was breathing heavy in my ear. I froze. He told me not to tell.’: Assault survivor shares emotional journey to peace
“It began out of nowhere. I was frozen, unsure of what was happening. He told me not to tell. I knew something wasn’t right but he was my older brother, so I did what he said. Until one day, we heard my uncle’s car pull into the driveway. As he quickly opened the quickly, my brother rushed to get off of me. ‘What’s going on?!’ My stomach was in knots.”
‘I came down for breakfast and Bill was busy writing. He told me he was jotting down notes for his memorial service. What? What do you mean ‘memorial service?’ I never made it to the office that day.’
“Just as I was starting to feel some tiny relief from losing my dad, Bill started coughing again. We both knew what the cough was from.”
‘I’m a teacher dreading this question when school starts. You want to know how my summer really was? It was awful.’
“I was an emotional, hormonal mess who was pregnant, but won’t be having a baby anytime soon.”
‘I’m going to miss him, but I’m glad he’s feeling better.’ This butterfly would make it to the top of the hill if it was the last thing he did.
“‘Butterflies fly mom. This butterfly can’t do that,’ was his obvious statement to me, asking him not to do what I inherently knew what was coming…”
‘My pregnancy was real. Really brief. Really scary. Really exciting. Really hopeful. Really exhausting.’
“I know for some struggling to conceive, seeing others pregnant can be triggering. For me, being pregnant was triggering.”
