“I remember the bright red carpet in his closet. This ongoing ‘event’ became our secret, I held onto this secret for close to 15 years. I never got over what happened to me, I stuffed it so far down. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I finally surrendered. I had enough. I needed to give myself a chance to live.”
‘I loved my older cousin. At 8, I learned the only way to be friends with him was to have sex with him.’: Daughter and mother in addiction recovery together after years of childhood trauma, ‘If that isn’t wonderful, I don’t know what is’
‘I’m not an addict, but I was addicted to trying to fix one. If you’re lucky, they recover. If you’re really lucky, you recover, too.’: Woman learns firsthand that loving one with addiction will ‘consume you’
“You will stand in their bedroom and plead that you ‘just want them back’. If you watch the person you love disappear right in front of your eyes, you will start to dissolve too. Those not directly affected won’t understand. It is not the person who uses, but the addiction. And yet, sadly… it is not the addiction that dies, but the person.”
‘I want to live!,’ I was screaming. The cops were on their way. I was trying to get out of the bathroom, trying to get my boyfriend off me, trying to hide in the tub.’: Single mom’s empowering story of surviving domestic abuse with infant daughter
“I had 3 months to figure out my escape. I stopped fighting back with my daughter’s father and kept calm. He was losing control, and it drove him crazy. ‘You’re not gonna take her from me,’ he’d say. I’d wake up to him pacing the kitchen talking to himself. I stayed quiet and texted a friend who said, ‘Wait 10 minutes, and then you call the cops. He could be lying.’”
‘My 8-year-old asked what the sign said that she was holding. ‘Out of work, please help,’ I told him. My son asked me why I didn’t help.’
“I could tell it had been days since she was able to get clean. She had a lot of items that would normally be left at a house. I could see her staring at the ground. We drove past her. I looked away, and felt shame rush over me.”
‘I took a hike into the woods. I see a man sitting around a fire. He was upset. He feels like he has no one. I sat and talked with him, and gave him numbers to call for assistance. He refused.’
“About 45 minutes into the playlist, a song played. ‘Can I borrow your phone?,’ he asked. I said yes. ‘I miss home. I want to go home,’ he said. I took in a deep breath; the goose bumps came over me and I realized THIS was the feeling.”
‘His sign caught my attention. ‘I don’t care who you are, I love you…’ I stood there reading it, until he finally said, ‘Hi.’ I cocked my head to the side.’
“I sat there and watched as he gripped his pen and began to write. He wrote down one word.”
‘I love you,’ I whispered. I checked his arm, and noticed there was a needle mark. I don’t know how I held myself together from SCREAMING his name, praying he’d snap out of it.’
“He tried to call me, but I was asleep and missed his call. Then my mom called. ‘Get to the hospital immediately,’ she said. I knew it was about him. I didn’t know the situation, so I got there in 4 minutes. My mind was racing.”
‘I was lying on a ‘friend’s’ kitchen floor. Standing over me were paramedics and a police officer. ‘You’re lucky we’re not busy today,’ the cop looked at me and said. I lied to everyone.’
“I met someone. The wrong someone. A friend. Or so I thought. I was catapulted into a world no one should experience. It was raining. The sky was black and the storm wasn’t letting up. I felt this strong feeling of evil hanging around me that day. My ‘friend’ was with me. I looked in the mirror and at that point, I knew.”
‘I told him I wasn’t ready to have a baby with him. He didn’t care and messed with my birth control. ‘We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives,’ he said. Needless to say, I got pregnant.’
“Things started to take a darker turn. I wasn’t allowed to go outside alone. He spread lies to my friends and family. When I gave birth, he wouldn’t let me see my child. He called 911 saying I was a danger to the baby. He got full custody.”
‘No matter how badly I want to stop my son’s addiction, I can’t. I finally had to walk away. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.’ Mom’s heart ‘aches’ for homeless son battling addiction
“Within 48 hours, he was out of my house with his bicycle and backpack. I lie awake at night wondering if my son is in a safe place, if he is eating, if he’s warm. I cry for him every time I think or talk about him for more than a few minutes. My heart aches. Knowing he is now a homeless, unemployed drug addict is the most terrifying thing I have ever dealt with.”
