“I didn’t have time to put on clothes. ‘HEEELLPP!! HELP MomMY!’ I rushed my bare ass out of the shower. In what felt like negative 1 million degrees, my frosty ass was jiggling down the hall, picturing all sorts of ludicrous situations.”
‘HEELLLLPPPP!!! I STUCK!!!’ Stepping out of the shower, I heard a hysterical call for help from my toddler.’: Woman hilariously ‘saves’ daughter, ‘The things we do for our kids’
‘Cancer didn’t stop him from being the best dad. If anything, it magnified who he was and what was important.’: Young widow shares husband’s selflessness, despite battling cancer
“We didn’t have two pennies to rub together, so our ‘treat’ was Arby’s. It was so cold, and the employees were trying to kick a homeless man out of the restaurant. Matt walked to the register, bought him a meal, sat it down in front of him, and told him to eat real slow and stay as long as he wanted. There was no one who was immune to the goodness of Matt’s heart.”
‘Today my husband asked, ‘Why is there a pen in the fridge?’ I had no idea what he was talking about. ‘What kind of pen?’: Woman urges ‘we’re all losing your mind trying to keep it together’
“I’m tired of worrying. I’m tired of hearing about politics. I’m tired of trying to learn about coronavirus. I’m tired of the overwhelming amount of learning I need to do, almost daily, in order to keep up with what all is going on in the world right now. Y’all. I am tired. My tired is tired.”
‘Every time Rich comes to deliver; I am in my best clothes. As his eyes climbed up, he stopped briefly at my chest and looked away.’: Mom suffers hilarious wardrobe malfunction during delivery, ‘There were two dark dots staring at him’
“I heard a knock, and I knew it was Rich. My beloved. Bringer of dreams. Rich gave me his million dollar smile then the color drained from his face. I shut the door, go to the mirror to check out the damage. There were two dark dots staring at him.”
‘Right—THERE! MOMMY! NO! A CAR JUST SQUASHED IT!’ I pumped the brakes, started directing traffic. I was hyperventilating.’: Hero mom saves lizard
“‘Sir, can you take it to a hospital?’ He pulled his truck past me and tipped his hat. ‘Hail nawl, little lady. That thang is all on you.’ Pretty soon I was standing alone, next to my car, with a half-dead thing in a shoe box that was IN MY HANDS. I was hyperventilating. This was not okay.”
‘A friend shared an event post for a ‘car cruise.’ ‘Everyone is welcome.’ I didn’t have the heart to tell them they weren’t going to be in a parade after all.’: Mom hilariously takes kids to classic car parade by mistake, ‘One of these cars doesn’t belong’
“OMG YOU GUYS. I notice that EVERY. SINGLE. CAR. THERE is either some sort of hot rod muscle car. I spent the next ten minutes until the ‘parade’ started avoiding eye contact with anyone, plotting my escape.”
‘The other day I thought, ‘I miss hanging with my girls,’ while scrolling through photos. A light bulb went off.’: Woman’s hilarious solution after virus ruins ‘much needed girlfriend time’
“This weekend I had a Sunday Funday drive with my friends. My husband is kind enough to not ask questions.”
‘I went to the hospital in labor. All the doors were locked. When we entered the recovery room, things started to get weird.’: Mom grateful son’s birth timing was ‘untainted by the coronavirus’
“I assumed it was another bi-yearly media drama. I began to get nervous. We escaped with a ‘normal’ birth experience by the skin of our teeth. I held my breath on the way out.”
‘Do these things actually work?’ I paid $14.99 for these suckers. I’m going all in.’: In the midst of a pandemic woman tries sticky bras, ‘I chose poorly’
“I have gathered you here to talk about my boobs. I think most of us are skeptical about sticky bras for obvious reasons. Y’all, I have kids. These are working girls. I am a survivor. I assumed I could handle a floppy boob sticker.”
‘They will remove your ovary through your vagina.’ My heart skipped a beat. ‘What? I’m on my period.’ The color never returned to his face.’: Woman cracks jokes before ovarian tumor surgery
“My mother-in-law asked me if I liked my doctor. ‘Well, I did before he stuck his finger in my butthole!’ I make jokes. Sometimes, really inappropriate ones. There is no right way or wrong way to deal with a situation like this. I was at a hospital that had already saved my life once.”
