i am beautiful

‘Oh wow, my thighs look huge in these jeans. After you have an eating disorder, they say you’ll never be normal again.’

“The next five minutes I spent trying to change the illusion of what I had just seen, pulling up the waist of my dark jeans a little higher, smoothing out the denim hoping that may give the twins a slimmer appearance.  I pulled on the hem of my sweater a bit, pulling it down a little further than the widest part of my thighs, hoping once again to give a thinner illusion.”

‘My aunt said, ‘I hope you grow up and not sideways.’ I was the ‘fat kid’ and my father was disgusted with me.’: Woman learns to embrace plus-size body, ‘Fat is not a dirty word’

“School bullies loved to remind me of how worthless I was. I became the punchline to every joke. The word ‘fat’ was used as a weapon. I quickly learned I needed to find a man to validate me. That if I got married and made babies,  then I could justify my existence. I was so tunnel-visioned I ignored red flags.”

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