identity

‘Mommy, change my diaper!’ Someday, I’ll quit using dry shampoo and be me again.’: Mom shares candid look at the loss of personal identity that comes with parenting

“Someday, I’ll quit using dry shampoo. I’ll dye my hair regularly and take care of my nails. I’ll choose my clothing as a fashion statement instead of knotting my shirt over a stain. I’ll even read grown-up books instead of books about little monsters. But right now isn’t that ‘someday.’ And I’m okay with being mostly mommy.”

‘Please, when I wake up, change me into a boy.’ I’d make deals with God and wake up excited. Nothing changed.’: Transgender man finally ‘at peace,’ loves who he sees ‘looking back in the mirror’

“Growing up, there was this football field behind my house. I’d go there and lie down in the middle of the it, looking up at the sky and begging God to strike me with a lightning bolt. And just change me. Change my body. Every day I did this, and woke up sobbing. I didn’t have a word for how I felt. I knew I was attracted to women. But I also knew I felt like a boy trapped in a girl’s body.”

‘I know you’re a boy,’ she whispered, kissing my forehead. I’d be able to start my senior year comfortable with myself.’: High school senior comes out as ‘transgender’ and begins transition

“My eyes widened. I hid who I was and planned to never tell a soul. I quietly started my visits at a clinic in Boston, and I was prescribed testosterone during the summer. This was a huge moment for me! This led to a scary leap. I had to publicly come out as transgender to my peers.”

‘Motherhood is really tough.’ You’d think, ‘Well that’s crap.’ Birth was traumatic. As a child of sexual abuse, a traumatic birth can be very re-triggering. I didn’t count on that.’

“I expected to be handed my baby like I was Beyoncé in a floral garden and the heavens open up. Instead, I felt like a potato cake seagulls were fighting over, one stitching me up, one folding my boob like a hamburger to stuff in my baby’s mouth, and one pressing so hard on my stomach I thought she was going to touch my spine. Yep, didn’t count on that.”

‘Just stay down there, I’ll step over you’. A flippant comment by one of the mothers at swim lessons. I was trying to get to the pool on my bottom, guiding my son. I let her by, but it pushed me further into darkness.’

“I had an accident on a trampoline and broke my leg. Initially I saw it as a small set back and would be back in no time. I’d just gotten married 10 weeks before. The plan was to have children soon, so I wanted to recover as quickly as I could. Unfortunately, that was not the case.”

‘There’s a picture of you with a shawl around your head. Why are you wearing that?’ I was scared to tell her.’: Daughter converts to Islam, keeps decision from her mom because she ‘didn’t want to hurt her feelings’

“I had sent in my application and a few weeks later, my mom called me to tell me there was an envelope in the mail for me. Not knowing what it was, I told her to go ahead and open it. I was no longer living a secret life. I could be free with my mom now, or so I thought… When others started learning about my conversion, they’d put bad thoughts into my mom’s head.”

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