“We hid, for months. People started to suspect our relationship. We were pelted with rocks while waiting for the bus. We were spat on. Soon, her mom found out. They moved her 10 hours away. I barely had any contact with her. As the train arrived on the platform, she was waiting for me.”
‘Someone at school told me you’re gay.’ I couldn’t keep this secret any longer. I poured my heart out to her. I thought I’d lost my friend. Until my phone pinged. ‘I like you, too.’
‘Babe, know what I’m thinking?’ I was like, ‘Pizza or Chinese?’ He said, ‘We should have another kid!’ Our surrogate got pregnant with twins! Tim was calm, I was nervous.’
“Tim went on a business trip. I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t heard from him. Then I got the voicemail. ‘Hello, this is the police, please give us a call.’ A detective answered. ‘Who is Timothy to you?’ ‘He’s my husband,’ I said. ‘What’s going on?’ ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but Tim passed away in his hotel room.'”
‘I was still being bullied. I developed a crush on a cute boy. He told me, ‘Here, take this. It will make you feel so much better. You won’t have any pain.’ I immediately felt like I was on cloud nine.’
“‘Momma, can I come back home?’ I remember thinking, ‘You can’t save me, it’s too late, I am slipping away quickly.’ She kissed my forehead. ‘You are stronger than you know.’ I never heard from my ex again.”
‘I remember thinking, ‘What the hell is conversion therapy?’ She introduced me to ‘Pastor Jake.’ He was going to ‘take good care of me.’ I immediately wanted to leave.’
“He told me how he is an ‘ex-gay.’ After he placed the ‘electrodes’ on my body, he turned on the projector. He showed me ‘homoerotica’ images, and if I became ‘excited,’ it would send a shock throughout my entire body. He did it repeatedly until I passed out. He told me he ‘didn’t need permission from parents.'”
‘I woke up next to my beloved husband with our 3 children across the hall, and realized I am no longer straight.’
“I paused what I was doing, took a deep breath, and asked, ‘Would you like to know something interesting about me?’ He said, ‘Yes, babe.’ He stopped washing the dishes, and turned to me. I broke down crying.”
‘I heard my brother yell, ‘Luke, move!’ I felt something hit my head. I instantly felt sick. I saw a gray beard, a man and his fist. I stood frozen. ‘Get away from them!’
“I stood in the living room, my hands shaking. I looked my mother in eye as she said, ‘What’s this important news you have?’ I nervously said, ‘Promise you won’t hate me?’ A look of concern crossed her face. I blurted out, ‘I’m gay, I have a boyfriend.’”
‘Our birthing tub wasn’t set up. I went into the Jacuzzi with my mom, butt naked. The water became murky. I knew I was close. I could feel it in my bones. And still no midwife.’
“The water was warm. I wasn’t making any progress. The water was too high and gravity was working against me. At this point, I wanted the baby out more than I wanted a water birth. I texted my midwife. She asked me if I wanted to push. ‘YES!’ I cried out.”
‘I was standing in line. An older gentleman said, ‘Why are you wearing that rainbow shirt? Are you some sort of fa***t?’
“This man then goes on to mumble homophobic slurs to me, the whole time I’m waiting in line. I ignore him, pay for my food, and start to walk away. I then notice his card gets declined.”
‘For us, he was only ever our son. Not our black or adopted son. Even though most folks find him adorable right now, they might feel differently when he dates their daughters.’
“A neighbor at a playgroup asked all the kids to go around the room and say what color they were. They all laughed when it was Eli’s turn. He said he was white, like everyone else did. They made sure he left knowing he wasn’t.”
‘It was so simple for me to accidentally get pregnant with my twins. Why couldn’t I do this for my wife?! I felt as if I was failing her. Something I never wanted to do.’
“This was something we both wanted SO badly, yet everything was going horribly wrong. This wasn’t full of whispers and giggles and kisses like we had thought. This was full of frustration, anger, and disappointment.”
