infant loss

‘At the nail salon, I felt a heavy substance drop onto my underwear. ‘No!’ I tightened my legs.’: Woman miscarries baby in nail salon ‘horror scene,’ vows to always ‘honor my little one’

“The ultrasound tech went silent. ‘Will I be getting my pictures today?’ I asked. I was in such a good mood. ‘No. If there was anything there, I would’ve shown you. There’s nothing.’ She was so heartless, her tone dry. I felt dizzy. I held my husband close, tears rolling down my face. He convinced me to get my nails done to distract my mind.”

‘Can I see my boy for one more goodbye?’ A nurse gave him his first and only haircut. He was truly perfect.’: Couple loses son to stillbirth, anxious about new pregnancy, ‘My first is in heaven, I’ll meet him there someday’

“We rushed into the emergency room. I was bleeding so badly I thought I was going to die right there in the hospital alone. My husband was stuck checking me in for what seemed like forever. The events that happened next took place so fast, but as I look back on it now, the initial care I was given makes me so mad and sad. Once she finally realized the severity of what was happening, she ran for back up. I wanted to follow him right up to heaven. I begged God to take me too.”

‘Yellow!’ Micah pointed to an adorable little chick with a big smile. Then, he spiked a 106 fever.’: Woman loses 3-year-old to Arthritis, ‘I am a mother, that will never change with time, space, or death’

“‘Are you SURE?’ I asked the doc, reading the report. ‘It would be like being struck by lightening TWICE. He’s fine.’ They were wrong. He was SICK. Sicker than any baby I’d seen. I walked into the PICU bathroom, shut the door. I screamed, moaned, punched the mirror, and cried the guttural tears of a mother who already knew how the story ends, because she’d lived it before. I was reliving my worst nightmare.”

‘I’m so sorry I can’t take this away.’ He looked up at me with absolute perfect clarity. ‘It’s okay.’: Parents ‘astonished’ by infant son’s miraculous response, lose him days later to rare brain tumor

“We stood in astonishment. Prior to this, he’d only known how to say one word: ‘Dog.’ My wife and I leaned in to tell him we loved him. He looked up again and said, ‘I love you.’ We held his little hand, his little frail body in my arms, and begged him to visit us. I asked him to watch over his siblings. We put him in the black Suburban, and watched them drive away.”

‘How can you allow a dead baby to stay inside you?’ ‘Because it’s my baby.’ I’m keeping her safe.’: Mom suffers multiple miscarriages, loss of twin, says ‘to me, every child matters’

“We rushed to the doctor. I was sadly met with little concern. ‘There is nothing we can do. Let nature take its course, what will be, will be!’ I chose the natural route. I wanted to keep her with me for as long as possible. A scan showed the baby had grown further, but her heart remained still. ‘No Zoe, sadly your baby hasn’t miraculously come back to life. Yes, we know you had hoped it would happen.’”

‘She took her last breath in her daddy’s arms. She was absolutely beautiful, perfect. I wouldn’t survive.’: 18-year-old parents lose daughter at 20-days-old, says ‘you never get over it’

“‘There is nothing more we can do.’ We counted her tiny fingers, toes. She had my nose, and the most stunning blue-green eyes. We held her hand, stroked her hair. It was the first and last time my husband got to hold his daughter. The little girl whose name he chose. The nurse wrapped her in a white blanket and handed her to me. I took in every detail of her beautiful face, holding her tiny hand until all warmth was gone.”

‘The OB dropped my newborn. ‘It’s OK, you’re young. You’ll have more.’: Mom appalled by preemie’s treatment in child birth, hopes other child loss parents ‘never feel alone’

“Before I left, I turned back. I could see the heartbreak on my dad’s face. I was yelling bloody murder through the halls. They put my legs up. All I remember were bright lights and hearing, ‘Push! Keep pushing! He’s almost out!’ They failed to catch him. I finally got a call from my OB. She said her condolences. ‘I’m so sorry, I never predicted this.’”

‘Stop trying.’ He wasn’t coming back. That pale, limp body wasn’t my son. I pounded the wall.’: Mom insists rainbow baby ‘helped fill the void’ after son’s death, ‘she’s my reason to keep going’

“‘Why my son?! Why me?!’ We went home and packed up his clothes, toys. His grandparents held onto everything else. We couldn’t bear to. But we destroyed the Rock ‘n Play he died in. I’ve seen news stories about their recalls. Of course, it makes me wonder if that’s what happened to my son. We will never know. Within weeks of his passing, I was pregnant. Intentionally. Family was concerned. I didn’t care.”

‘No one can take this pain away, so I must take it away myself. Lay me next to my daughter.’: Mom speaks candidly of ‘suicidal thoughts’ in wake of stillbirth, ‘I wouldn’t wish this on anyone’

“There are no visible wounds, but the pain courses through my entire being. I breathe in through my nose, blow out of my mouth. I’m alive, but being alive without my daughter hurts. I can’t wipe the tears away. It’s too much effort. I can’t move, even if I wanted to. I don’t want to pee. Eat. Shower. Brush my teeth. I see my dad’s face, and he wants me here. To hold on. To live.”

‘He opened his beautiful, dark grey eyes, wise beyond his years. We made him comfortable, and waited.’: Mom vows ‘as long as I live, Daniel’s memory will too’ after losing son to congenital heart defect

“At the end of this long, exhausting appointment, Charity says, ‘Oh, and congratulations on your baby.’ Congratulations on our baby? You mean the one you told me is going to die? I ran out of that room so fast. Despite it all, his broken heart kept beating. I recall a single tear escaping my eye and falling on his face.”

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