infertility

‘How the hell did I end up here?’ It took me months to say, ‘My child died.’ We hung her stocking. I’m finally ready.’: Mom celebrates stillborn during holidays for surviving twin to know ‘her sister’s spirit is with her for her lifetime’

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered, ‘How are you?,’ with a forced, fake, ‘Hanging in there!’ just to make the conversation easier. We hung her Christmas stocking on the mantle this year. I am painfully aware that on Christmas morning, that stocking will hang empty as the others burst with gifts. ‘Why me? Why our family?’ But for now, we honor her absence. I am finally ready.”

‘Help me!’ The color drained from my face. I awoke to cramping and blood dripping on the bathroom floor.’: LGBT couple navigate homophobia, reciprocal IVF journey, ‘our girls will be filled with lots of love’

“Our babies! Were they gone? We drove the 3 hours to the IVF clinic. The doctor informed us, ‘One baby is still there, and next to the baby is a blood clot 4 times its size.’ I remember my eyes filling with tears. I began crying on my wife’s shoulder. ‘What you two are doing isn’t right.’ No one ever tells you how hard it will be to have kids when you’re gay.”

‘What if I never love my child? I hate being a mom.’ The day she was born, I became a different person.’: New mother suffers severe postpartum depression, ‘I was on the brink of suicide’

“The moment after her birth I had so longed for – the intense emotion I was supposed to have, never happened. The feeling I was supposed to get when she first cried, never happened. The love I was ‘supposed’ to have seeing Dan hold our daughter, never happened. The day she was born, I became a different person. I started hearing and seeing things. These images and voices would pop into my head.”

‘Ugh, you can have my kids. Just relax and it’ll happen.’ My journey ended with a hysterectomy.’: Woman diagnosed with Endometriosis after years of infertility, finally finds peace in a ‘beautiful, unexpectedly child-free life’

“The doctor actually laughed and told me I was ‘just dehydrated.’ One asked, ‘Have you been sexually abused?’ He thought the pain was in my head. I decided it was time to walk away from my dream of being a mother. ‘It’s okay to put yourself and your health first. It’s okay to stop.’ She lovingly placed her hands on my shoulders, looked directly into my eyes and said, ‘You’re going to be okay.'”

‘You’re only 19 weeks, it’s too early.’ I was scared to hold him. But THAT was love at first sight.’: Woman’s baby born still after years of infertility, ‘he has changed my life, even when he is not here’

“’How far along are you? You aren’t due til November!’ My mom thought I was playing a trick on her, but she could see I’d been crying. My worst fear had come true. I knew I’d hate myself if I never took any photos, so I took an abundance. I needed to have that for my son. The worst part? Knowing it was the first and last time I’d ever hold him again.”

‘We’re going to have this baby, like right now!!!’ On the bed of our Ford pickup truck, I felt him crowning.’: Woman names baby ‘Ford’ after accidental birth in the back of her pickup truck, ‘he’ll always have a story to tell’

“I felt my body pushing. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t hold back any longer. He came out as we turned from the main road to the hospital. I looked at my husband and said, ‘Why isn’t he crying?!’ We were both in shock. The umbilical chord was wrapped around his neck. All I wanted was to hear that first deep breath and newborn baby cry.”

‘There’s nothing you could have done. It wasn’t your fault,’ my nurse said. I started sobbing on the phone.’: Woman’s finds healing after ‘agonizing’ miscarriage, ‘I promise you, there is LIFE after loss’

“I remember sitting in the doctor’s office at age 17, wondering if having my own kids was ever a possibility for me. I’d been diagnosed with PCOS at a young age. He put me on birth control and it hardly affected my life. Until I started seriously dating. I felt like dating me came with a warning label – a precursor: ‘Watch out, no guarantee I can have kids.’ And what if someone didn’t want to marry me because of it?”

‘I have to tell you something. I’m so sorry.’ I burst into tears. I hated others being sad about our baby.’: Parents shocked by Down syndrome diagnosis after signing paperwork to not do genetic testing, ‘We are keeping the baby’

“This embryo was a fighter from the beginning – it took. Then I got a life changing phone call. ‘Your baby has Down syndrome,’ the nurse informed me. WHAT? We signed paperwork saying we DIDN’T want any blood tests. The nurse, in an effort to ‘bond’ with me, told me how she got pregnant naturally with twins. One of the twins died, and the other twin had Down syndrome, so she terminated. ‘We would have taken that baby,’ my husband replied.”

‘Are you planning to have kids?’ At 28, my husband had a vasectomy in his first marriage. I felt robbed.’: Stepmom battling infertility laments ‘my husband ‘had it all’ with another woman’

“‘Everything will change when you have your own kids together.’ The comments stung. He had a vasectomy in his first marriage. I felt robbed. He had the young love. He married young. As we enter our 3rd year of infertility, will his first wife will be the only woman who will share this part of him? The part I always wished for? I made it ‘my fault’ we couldn’t get pregnant. I lied, covered up the truth.”

‘Are you going to give your adopted son back, since you’re going to have your own child?’ Ummm nope.’: Mom declares ‘adoption is not what impregnated me,’ enraged strangers would assume he’s ‘not wanted’

“Her words were confident as she loaded the belt with groceries, one by one, BEAMING. I smiled. ‘Oh! That’s not how it works. My bio son isn’t some weird reward for adopting.’ A lady actually argued with me. She told me pregnancy and biological babies are always the goal, ‘congrats for me.’ He was always our plan.”

 Share  Tweet