infertility

‘We only want 3 kids so that’s perfect.’ That’s me being naive again. ‘Okay, maybe it won’t happen like we had hoped.’: Couple suffers 4 miscarriages in 4 years, ’You never know how strong you are until you have to be’

“The doctor turned off the lights and we looked at the screen. I immediately saw two sacs. Twins? My husband didn’t know what he was looking at, so he didn’t realize until the doctor said it out loud. We both started crying and saw both little heartbeats flicker on the screen. We joked we were going to get our money’s worth from IVF by getting two babies for the price of one. I never thought a miscarriage would happen again. I was wrong. ‘I’m so sorry, I only see one heartbeat.’ I just had this gut feeling that we would lose the other baby.”

‘I chose to wear headphones. I didn’t want to hear or see Lily, afraid she would die. I kept my eyes affixed on my husband.’: Parents who lost twin daughter navigate marriage through tragedy, ‘We weren’t remotely prepared for what lay ahead’

“My husband encouraged me to look at my 1-pound daughter. If Lily died, we agreed to sell all our belongings and move to a beach in Hawaii, disappearing until we felt strong enough to return – but Pat knew Lily was strong enough to survive. I had intense, terrifying thoughts. This is not what we anticipated when we took our vows, but we faced each day together. We’ve come so far from stupid teenagers breaking curfew for 5 more minutes together, but if they could look ahead, I know they’d be pretty damn proud of us, too.”

‘What makes her think I want to have kids? I’m 32!’ Her eyes bugged out at me. That conversation bothered me for the next 3 years.’: Woman declares she doesn’t want children, ‘You can have a satisfying life without kids’

“I grew up going to church 3 times a week. Every Sunday, I saw women with their children. The husbands were usually away working. I heard the word ‘struggle’ more times than I could count. I watched with curious eyes. If this was to be my life as a grownup, forget it. I wanted something different. I no longer worried ‘the right man’ would appear and voila, a baby would follow.”

‘Don’t get too attached. You’ll probably lose this one too.’ I prayed, ‘Please find a heartbeat.’ I longed for people to rub my belly.’: Woman has ‘miracle’ rainbow baby after pregnancy loss, ‘The clouds had parted, he’s perfectly healthy’

“The surgeon oh-so-casually said, ‘While I have you under anesthesia, I can take out the IUD, too.’ Two months later, I was pregnant. I never fully understood how much I wanted to experience pregnancy until my first one ended. In couple’s therapy, tears and snot poured down my face. I tried to explain to my husband how much I wanted to be pregnant. While I was running errands later that day, I saw a rainbow. My friend’s response? ‘God doesn’t mess around when it comes to signs.'”

‘The surgeon ran a plumbing snake through my insides. We were left haggard, anxious. It was our first wedding anniversary.’: Woman learns of infertility after infection, chooses adoption instead of IVF, ‘Like magic, it all became clear’

“At 24, I’d been married to Peter less than a year. ‘Are you alright?’ I must’ve looked flush. My knees gave out. As I stepped toward the waiting room, time slowed to a crawl. Heaving sobs came next. ‘Oh honey,’ she whispered. ‘I am so sorry.’”

‘I see you trying to hold me together. I see you sitting there at appointments looking at your feet. I see your fear. I see you.⁣ I see you blaming yourself for my pain. I see your pain.’: Wife documents IVF journey alongside husband

“I see you making sacrifices for me and for our future family. I see you being so open to ‘alternative methods’ so we can get our happily ever after. I see you being open to anything and letting me decide what we should do with my body. I see you willing to make changes to our path in life. I see you.”

‘I’m so sad you’ll never have a baby,’ my grandma said. I wanted to run. There was certitude in her tone, finality.’: Woman has realization after grandmother’s comment, gets pregnant on her own, ‘It was something I needed to do’

“’I’ll just take him to the living room,’ I said to my sister who was in mid-conversation, talking about what it’s like being a new mom. That was when my grandmother spoke. In one line she had evaluated my situation—single, 36, unmarried—and concluded my childless fate. What was my life? I thought I’d done everything right.”

‘How the hell did I end up here?’ It took me months to say, ‘My child died.’ We hung her stocking. I’m finally ready.’: Mom celebrates stillborn during holidays for surviving twin to know ‘her sister’s spirit is with her for her lifetime’

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered, ‘How are you?,’ with a forced, fake, ‘Hanging in there!’ just to make the conversation easier. We hung her Christmas stocking on the mantle this year. I am painfully aware that on Christmas morning, that stocking will hang empty as the others burst with gifts. ‘Why me? Why our family?’ But for now, we honor her absence. I am finally ready.”

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