“Before I left, I turned back. I could see the heartbreak on my dad’s face. I was yelling bloody murder through the halls. They put my legs up. All I remember were bright lights and hearing, ‘Push! Keep pushing! He’s almost out!’ They failed to catch him. I finally got a call from my OB. She said her condolences. ‘I’m so sorry, I never predicted this.’”
‘The OB dropped my newborn. ‘It’s OK, you’re young. You’ll have more.’: Mom appalled by preemie’s treatment in child birth, hopes other child loss parents ‘never feel alone’
‘Prepare to say goodbye to at least 1 of your children.’ It’s inconceivable.’: Twin mom feels both ‘joy’ and ‘pain’ after 1 twin dies and the other survives
“It was the only time we had with her. We were able to hold her and see her sweet face, it was beautiful. ‘Everything happens for a reason. At least you have one.’ They are poking the wound. The gravity of what happened to us is too hard for people to imagine.”
‘I’ve been on maternity leave for exactly 6 weeks. I couldn’t imagine heading back to work today.’: Mom insists it’s just ‘not enough time’ to ‘connect with our babies’
“In 6 weeks that I’ve been home, I haven’t slept more than 4 hours at a time. My days revolve around changing diapers, nursing and pumping, and trying to figure out why my baby is crying. And while my motherly instincts are loud and clear, we are nowhere near a daily routine yet. I couldn’t imagine going back to work right now.”
‘You’re in early labor. You’d be crawling on the ground reaching for drugs otherwise.’: Mom encourages women to ‘find their voice’ during childbirth after ‘begging’ husband not to let hospital send her home
“I was given an examination and told I was only 3 centimeters dilated. At this stage I was already starting to feel sweaty and sick at the thought of this pain for days. I couldn’t even fathom it. I thought she had to be joking.”
‘Are you ready to hold your baby?’ She takes a deep breath, sits up as straight as she can. We’re very careful.’: Child loss photographer reminds grieving parents ‘this little life mattered’
“The room is still, almost silent. I meet their beautiful baby, I hold their baby, talk to their baby. All while taking a mental assessment of how much posing I can do. I ask who he got his beautiful wavy hair from, or his button nose or long toes. I talk, but not too much to overwhelm anyone. I work gently, efficiently. I capture every single detail. No one wants this. Their child existed. Their child was so loved, and so wanted.”
‘When can I see the baby?’ New moms hear over and over, before she’s even left the hospital.’: Mom reminds us to ‘nurture the mother’ post-delivery
“Before she’s had a chance to sleep. Before she’s showered off the blood. ‘When can I come see the baby?’ Her estrogen and progesterone levels are plummeting. She’s shaky. Hot, cold, sweaty, and weak. Her crotch is swollen, puffy. She has stretch marks, hair loss, acne, blurry vision, and dry eyes. When you walk into her house, look at HER. Admire the baby, sure. But don’t forget to nurture the mother.”
‘Why did you cut her?! She didn’t give you permission to do that.’ My blood boiled. He just stared, his face blank.’: Doctor performs episiotomy on mother without her permission during childbirth because he had ‘somewhere to be at 7 p.m.’
“Snnniiipppp. My doctor used scissors to cut me open ‘down there’ to make it easier to push the baby out. ‘What did you do?!’ I asked the male, 50-year-old doctor, with fear in my voice. Even the nurses paused. Just 30 minutes before, my doctor told me, ‘I have somewhere to be at 7 o’ clock, so you better be able to push this baby out soon.’ My husband’s rage was rising. I squeezed his hand. ‘We can’t do this now.’”
‘Your boyfriend has to deliver the baby.’ I was squatted on a bathroom floor, 20, convinced I was going to die.’: Woman delivers baby on bathroom floor after ‘grumpy midwife’ tells her to ‘go home’
“The contractions were progressing extremely quickly, but the midwife seemed grumpy and fed up. She didn’t believe me. ‘Go home. This could go on for days.’ Days?! I couldn’t cope with another hour of the pain! As soon as we pulled into our driveway, I ran to the bathroom. ‘Call an ambulance!’ I yelled at my confused boyfriend. ‘My body is pushing. I can’t stop it!’ I’d only known him 3 months before we got pregnant.”
‘I felt the doctor reach inside me. Blood spilled out. I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes.’: Mom survives ‘near-death birthing experience,’ admits to ‘physical, emotional trauma’ 10 years later
“My son was limp and blue, an umbilical cord choked around his neck. My face was so swollen my eyelids were turned upside down. I heard whimpers, more gushes. I called out to my husband. His voice weakly managed, ‘I love you’ as I was wheeled out of the room. He was left sitting on the hospital room floor, in a pool of my blood. The family my husband and I had always dreamed of was now painfully impossible.”
‘I looked down at my wedding ring, and my heart broke. Where would she wear a wedding ring?’: Mother learns of child’s limb difference diagnosis, looks at her as ‘my perfect daughter’
“Our daughter was missing part of her left arm. Would I look at her differently after her arrival? ‘This is her eviction notice,’ the doctor said. They paused to let me see her. As she turned, I saw her little eyes ever-so-slightly open, looking at me, her mom. My heart melted. She was my perfect daughter.”
